How to start a conversation
The first step is to act quickly
When you see a girl that interests you, act quickly. Go right up to her and start a conversation. Never stall. Stalling will cause you to either psych yourself out or cause you to miss an opportunity (she’ll leave before you work up the courage to approach her). Worse yet, a lot of guys stall and never find the courage to talk to the girl. If you find yourself in this situation it’s time to be a man and walk right up to the girl and start talking. Trust me, you can do it!
How to start a conversation with a girl like this
Observe her and the surroundings
As you walk up to the girl start observing her (what’s she’s wearing, holding, doing and how she looks). Also, observe the immediate surroundings (are you in a book store, coffee shop, park). The more you observe, the more subjects you have to talk about. The more you have to talk about, the greater the chance she will like you. So pay close attention to your surroundings and hers.
Note: Never, ever use pickup lines! Girls don’t find them clever and they make you look desperate. In a conversation, girls look for authenticity – for something real. Pickup lines come off as anything but real.
Talking props
You know what a stage prop is right? It’s an object (furniture, books, plants, etc.) that help the audience know exactly where the scene takes place. The actors interact with these props. Talking props are objects that help you interact with the girls you meet. For instance, that book she’s holding is a talking prop – tell her it looks interesting and ask her what it’s about. Talking props are also objects you posses. An example is your dog, a great prop. If you’re out walking your dog in a park, especially if it’s a puppy, many girls stop to look at it – an excellent conversation starter!
Always ask open-ended questions
This is the key to keeping a conversation flowing. Nothing kills a conversation fast than asking a yes or no question. Here are some examples of bad yes or no questions: Did you like the new Harry Potter movie? Is that a good book? Do you like dogs? These question can all be answered with a simple yes or no which causes the conversation to not flow naturally.
Here are some examples of better questions: What did you like about the new Harry Potter movie? That book looks interesting; why are you reading it? What’s your favorite thing about dogs?
See the difference? Those questions cause the girl to give a more thoughtful response, which leads to more talking, than simple yes or no questions.
Sample Conversation Starters
- At The Coffee Shop
If you’re standing in line at a coffee shop and a pretty girl is behind you, observe your surroundings. You might notice the unique mugs they have for sale. That’s an excellent prop to start a conversation. Turn to the girl and say something like, “Gee, that’s a really neat mug. What do you think about it?” Bam! Instant conversation!
At The Book Store
Suppose there’s a pretty girls standing next to computer book section (yes, it does happen!). You notice she’s holding a book on image editing techniques. Go up to her and say, “I hear that’s a good book. What are you looking to edit?”
At The Library
You see a girl studying an American literary history book. Say to her, “Hey I’m thinking about taking that class. My friend said it’s good but tough. What’s your opinion?”
At The Grocery Store
You see a girl buying a frozen meal that you like. Walk by her and say, “I love those! I make sure to fix steamed carrots whenever I eat them. What dish do you like to fix with it?”
At The Clothing Store
Suppose you see an interesting girl while your shopping. Pick up two different color shirts and ask her which color shirt she thinks looks best on you and why. You can also use the old, “I’m looking for a gift for my female friend’s birthday but I don’t know jack about women’s clothes. Do you think you can help me pick something out?” If she works at the store, she’ll almost always say yes.
At The Park
Let’s say you see a girl about to hike or done hiking one of the trails. Go up to her and say, “You know, I like this trail. It’s very pretty this time of year. What’s your favorite time of year to hike this trail?”
Note: Again, never use pickup lines!
Do you have questions, comments, success stories, or your own suggestions? Please share them by commenting below!
Shy to Talk, a fan of AdviceOnGirls.com
Austin
15. Sep, 2010
Micheal, I see that you are helping alot of people but in my situation I have just about no way to start a conversation with here without it be ovious. (gym has been one the hardest ways to talk to girls, especialy since she is always with her group of friends and me with mine.) I kinda just need more confidence I think.
kevin
15. Sep, 2010
hmmmmm so im a junior and shes a senior she is insanely hot and im not so much lol any ways of getting her to want to talk to me??
Dominic
16. Sep, 2010
She doesn’t like me I dont want to move on then agian I dont want to stay What should I do/
Karl
17. Sep, 2010
Im not afraid to talk to girls, but i think i sound kinda boring, any advice?
jb
20. Sep, 2010
i need help because this girl i talk im always quiet on the phone with her i need talking tips we’ve been talking for a month we are both 16
ahsen
01. Oct, 2010
Can u some one give mi some advice how to date a girl out and when she is shy ? Thanks
sam
02. Oct, 2010
hi im 16 male ; when i talk to a hot girl i get shy and i dont know what to say to her please help
Sora
03. Oct, 2010
I managed to look up my old girl school mates on FaceBook. How do i make FaceBook friendship into something more.
Joe
09. Oct, 2010
I love this girl in church and i barely say a word to her. Is it her beauty preventing me saying anything to her?
Fernando
10. Oct, 2010
very helpfull
Charle
10. Oct, 2010
Hey again. I want to say I’ve been taking your advice Kennedy and it’s been working great for me. I met a new girl in my class(officially) and hit it off with her for a solid 15 minute convo before her jetting off to class. Now here’s my next problem: She and I are in two completely different majors. She’s a chemical engineer, I’m an art major. How the heck do I relate to a girl that’s already taking a very intricate, complex, and impressive field? It sort of puts my field of an art major to shame… Please help asap!
someone
11. Oct, 2010
hnmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… i like it
Alphonse
11. Oct, 2010
hey uhh guy
umm my social status in my schoool is about no too much of a jock but not too much of a nerd
so yeah you get where im going at
im kind of in the cool asian group and one of my freinds
has a really hot freind, in our school the type of girls you date improves you social status and all that
i havent met this girl but i hear how shes is hot and all that
i havent met her in real life but i do have her as a freind on facebook how should i start a conversation she always comes to a halt when we are talking
ooh and yeah
shes with someone else
soo now you get how i need help badly
im about 14
Joseph
11. Oct, 2010
Hey Alphonse if she’s with someone else leave her be just talk to her as a friend theres nothing a girl hates more than a guy that hits on or flirts with when that person knows that she’s seeing someone already
Jon-Paul
12. Oct, 2010
The biggest problem for me would be that I only see this girl once a day. When I do see her she is always talking to someone or to a group. Today I think I made a step towards her when we were alone in the hallway for minute or two but that is about it. How would I approach her when she is with her friends?
Jesse
14. Oct, 2010
theres this girl in my math class, i talk to her every day but its always just a friendly conversation. like something about her dance class or the score she got on a test, or even how our math teacher complains alot. anyway……i have no clue how to escalate our relationship by not being to obvious?!?! i dont know what to do
Michael
20. Oct, 2010
So last year I started talking to this girl I like during the end of the school year, during the summer, we usually saw each other in church but I never got the chance to talk due to her friends always jumping in a the moment I make an attempt to walk over. Now I’m trying to start up again, but I’m afraid she’ll label me as a jerk for not talking all summer. What should I do?
Jake
23. Oct, 2010
Hey so I’m 15 male and I’ve known this girl for two years now but I’m kinda lacking in flirting department I need help plzzzzzz I talk to quite a bit but I suck at flirting
Brian
24. Oct, 2010
I’m 17, and I have no idea how to approach a girl, how to talk to her, about what. What if she isn’t alone how can I ask her out then. I kinda need a lot of help, and that sucks.
PJ
25. Oct, 2010
im 19. I think i have lots of game when it comes to girls. I can talk to almost any girl with success. However, i was rejected by a girl when i was about 16, she scares the f*uck out of me and i need help getting through to her….please help
DJ
25. Oct, 2010
Hi im a sophomore in high school. I don’t have much problems talking to girls. But recently i asked a girl to a dance and she said yes. I wasn’t quite sure if she taught i was cute and wanted to go with me or if she felt pity for me and decided to go with me. Now the dance is over and i see her walking around with a boy thats a junior sometimes around campus. Does she not like me or does she just sees me as a friend. And sometimes i feel jealous because they talk and that gets me scared to talk to her because then she might think im annoying.
Charle
27. Oct, 2010
I am about to seal the deal with this one girl. She has agreed to hang out with me(in the near future) but how would I go about asking for her number without sounding threatening, desperate, or creepy? I’ve known her for a good year and half, but we’re not exactly solid “friends” yet. Just acquaintances. Please I need help asap!
Angel
02. Nov, 2010
Well, how do you start a conversation with this girl when were both inside a church?
Thingy
11. Nov, 2010
Well in eastern europe things are different … every day this girl comes to me like she is about to kiss me then she changes direction and chuckles a bit -.- wtf ? does she like me or somthing ? at first it was kinda weird and now its scary … i had nightmares of a thingy from the games i play does the same thing but in the last moment it pulls out a dagger and stabs the cr%@! outta me
Jordi
13. Nov, 2010
Thingy I’m eastern european too and I haven’t found any difference between american and european girls. The thing is that most of them like playing guys, so you better learn to play them instead.
vinny
14. Nov, 2010
it is going to be so complex for me ,
My girlfriend is so shy,
She didnt come in canteen with me stay in her friend circle ,
But some batchmates tees her than i felt so bad but i cant help her because they are friends if she opened with me than nobody can joke on her i am not able to decide what should we do!
tim
17. Nov, 2010
hey im at college and i met this girl that i like and she flirts with me often but never really gives me a good sign unless wer at a party in which case she comes on strong but i never know how to make a move i was wondering if you guys could help me out thankyou.
Craig
17. Nov, 2010
Basically.. she likes me.. and I like her..
But when it comes to conversing with her, I never really know what to say..
Any ideas?
sunnynoconfidence
17. Nov, 2010
Nothing works if u don’t have the confidence, as my experience I don’t have any confidence to talk to the girl I like I have lost tons of opportunities. I’m a handsome guy but I’d grown with an asian culture (sri lankan) and that also left me staying inside my shell. I feel afraid coz there r many people outside I think they r watching me. So I don’t think this will work on me and I have read 100′s of such articles..But I wish other people to gain confidence…
cheers
gideon
18. Nov, 2010
i have started a friendship with a society lady ie she has a business of hers. i talked to her and she said we should be friends for now, how do i pick up from there, i met her when i went out with my friends. if i call her on phone i do not know what to say apart from asking about her welfare. how do i book an appointment with her again and probebrly know her place and start conversation. thank you while awaiting your response.
Tom
18. Nov, 2010
I know this is usefull and gives you some thoughts but it sound really complicated. you have to be confident and dress quite nice so that you can attract a girl’s attension without speaking to her, then you just have to gain confidence to just ask her how she is and show a cheaky smile ask questions that she will like you to be interested in.
Prats
19. Nov, 2010
hey I like a girl but getting somewhat scared to converse with her…Plz suggest me what to do??
VISHAL
20. Nov, 2010
heyyy pls help me…i like a girl..its an strong crush….bt dont find any way to start a conversation…..she is at next batch of mine in tutuions…. so also its harder fr mee too converse with her… she is always wid sm of her frnds…and der is also very small time gap between aur batches… so tht i cn think of any thing to start with….pls suggest me sm ways……
George rod
21. Nov, 2010
Hi there. I met this girl on my French class but we always have a friendly conversation about her band class, her dog, what grade she got on her test etc. .But I’m trying to ask her to hang out with me at lunch time but I won’t dare because I think shes going to say “no” due to the fact that she might have a bf n I don’t wanna ask he if she’s single because that will make it too ovious that I like her. Soo plzzz help me !!
Charle
22. Nov, 2010
Hello there. My ultimate question for the guys in charge, Kennedy or Michael. I have a decent grounding with this one girl already. It’s been established that we would hang out in the future, but I never asked for her number. Should I just go for it? My time is numbered, she’ll move on into her more focused classes on her major, while I’ll split off and take mine. Another thing, it may just me being paranoid, but she almost seems to be intentionally avoiding me. I message her on facebook, I try to talk to her after class, but it’s almost I’m presuming she knows I like her, and she’s trying to completely blow me off at this point because she’s annoyed by how I act around her…
Please help if you can!
John
25. Nov, 2010
That was helpful yo…but heres my situation. This girl in my class sent me message on facebook sayin she thinks im cute and she would love to get to know me better. I like her too so I talk to her a lil bit, but shes really shy. She explains that shes shy at first but when i get to know her she wont be. We not really talking right now. Basically i wanna let her know that i wanna be with her. How should i go about doing that.
Chad
26. Nov, 2010
Hey,so I’m 14 and i know this girl and talk to her sometimes but in school she is in none of my classes and I hav like no time to talk to her, also she leaves right away after school and so I hav like no time to talk to her. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks
Arsham Khorsand
26. Nov, 2010
What conversation can I start with a girl on a school bus?
joey
28. Nov, 2010
how bout yall grow a pair? huh? what?
nick
01. Dec, 2010
Hey i see that this could be very helpful but in my sistuation im at school with her, and she is always with her friends so its hard to find the confodance to talk to her, plus im having some problems with some of my friends right now…. but I really like her, what sould i do?
-Thanks,
Nick
Trevor
01. Dec, 2010
Hey there is this girl in my gym class and im not skaird to talk to her but for some reason i just don’t know what to say to her and i don’t have much time left to talkto her
Can U PLZ Help Me Out ?
Tony
02. Dec, 2010
Ok, so my problem is that there is this girl that I like, I am 16 and to my knowledge she is 17, I see her everyday at school and she is always by herself, the fact is that I have little to no experience with girls and she seems like the type who dosent want to be bothered. What would be a good way to atleast approach her and start a conversation without making the situation seem weird.. We have seen eachother around school. But we have never spoken. Some advice would be greatly apreciated.
Jake
02. Dec, 2010
Ok so my problem is that there is this girl that i like, I am 15, and she just turned 16. She is smiles whenever she sees me, i just dont know what to talk about when im around her. i would really appriciate some advice.
Thijs
03. Dec, 2010
To anyone who may listen and/or give advice
It’s been almost two years since me and my girlfriend broke up, and i gotta be honest. I haven’t dated at all neither, but i don’t feel thats something to be ashamed of. I just had no interest in it, but now its starting to come back. Anyway, to the point.
Recently i went to this big electronics store and it was at the section for headphones and such where i was looking for new headphones. A young lady helped me and gave me a nice discount on the product too, i kinda think that i cought her eye, but i can’t be sure…girls can look at you in certain ways and it woiuld mean they are always into you? Nah.
But yesterday i returned to the store, cause i returned the product(simply not what i hoped for) and some from that headphones section/department had to check if the state of the product was good, it was the same lady as before and again her stare towards me, i noticed it. But as always with me when it comes to girls…for some reason i always think a stare counts for ‘she’s into you for sure’ which is probably nonsense.
I dig her though (as much as one can dig someone who he’s barely met yet though,lol) and i would like a talk with her, just say a few nice things, but nothing too personal, just friendly..and who knows what it’ll lead up to. Simply….starting a conversation. I am trying to think of what kind of things i could say, but i’ve got no idea really.
So some advice on that would be great
shervin
04. Dec, 2010
so confusing!!!
its not all that easy tooo pick up a hot chick!
matthew z
06. Dec, 2010
hey
i was reading this, but the one question i have is when i go to a party, i wanna pick up wit a girl and hope to god she likes me too and will want to date me. i guess my question is how can u pick up a girl at a party?
hisham
10. Dec, 2010
im 15 and she is 13 we meet every day at the bus stop , to go to school what should i do ? and she has a younger bro 9 years
austen
28. Dec, 2010
just talk 2 the girl, worst that can happen is she’ll say no then u move on with ur life knowing u tried
anonym. 97
01. Jan, 2011
Okay…I am a girl and think that a lot of you are probably desperate. Here’s my advice…BE YOURSELF instead of turning to “how to” sites. And honestly, if a guy came up to me and asked me what I thought about a mug in the coffee shop I would not be attracted whatsoever. All you have to do to get a girl’s attention is show her you’re interested in her and DON’T BE SHY…most likely, the girl will want to talk to you ’cause she’ll be flattered. Start off with even just a smile…and move on from there. Anyways…I hope some of these guys will stop turning to these kind of sites and be themselves. I also hope I’ve helped some guys by giving them a girl’s point of view!
messenger
04. Jan, 2011
I really like this girl and she thinks I’m cute. However, a day after texting on the phone, my friend told me she’s into her ex. I still have feelings for her but I’m not sure if its mutual. What should I do?