Advice on Girls

How to start a conversation

The first step is to act quickly
When you see a girl that interests you, act quickly. Go right up to her and start a conversation. Never stall. Stalling will cause you to either psych yourself out or cause you to miss an opportunity (she’ll leave before you work up the courage to approach her). Worse yet, a lot of guys stall and never find the courage to talk to the girl. If you find yourself in this situation it’s time to be a man and walk right up to the girl and start talking. Trust me, you can do it!

How to start a conversation with a girl like this

Observe her and the surroundings
As you walk up to the girl start observing her (what’s she’s wearing, holding, doing and how she looks). Also, observe the immediate surroundings (are you in a book store, coffee shop, park). The more you observe, the more subjects you have to talk about. The more you have to talk about, the greater the chance she will like you. So pay close attention to your surroundings and hers.

Note: Never, ever use pickup lines! Girls don’t find them clever and they make you look desperate. In a conversation, girls look for authenticity – for something real. Pickup lines come off as anything but real.

Talking props
You know what a stage prop is right? It’s an object (furniture, books, plants, etc.) that help the audience know exactly where the scene takes place. The actors interact with these props. Talking props are objects that help you interact with the girls you meet. For instance, that book she’s holding is a talking prop – tell her it looks interesting and ask her what it’s about. Talking props are also objects you posses. An example is your dog, a great prop. If you’re out walking your dog in a park, especially if it’s a puppy, many girls stop to look at it – an excellent conversation starter!

Always ask open-ended questions
This is the key to keeping a conversation flowing. Nothing kills a conversation fast than asking a yes or no question. Here are some examples of bad yes or no questions: Did you like the new Harry Potter movie? Is that a good book? Do you like dogs? These question can all be answered with a simple yes or no which causes the conversation to not flow naturally.

Here are some examples of better questions: What did you like about the new Harry Potter movie? That book looks interesting; why are you reading it? What’s your favorite thing about dogs?

See the difference? Those questions cause the girl to give a more thoughtful response, which leads to more talking, than simple yes or no questions.

Sample Conversation Starters

At The Coffee Shop

At The Book Store
Suppose there’s a pretty girls standing next to computer book section (yes, it does happen!). You notice she’s holding a book on image editing techniques. Go up to her and say, “I hear that’s a good book. What are you looking to edit?”

At The Library
You see a girl studying an American literary history book. Say to her, “Hey I’m thinking about taking that class. My friend said it’s good but tough. What’s your opinion?”

At The Grocery Store
You see a girl buying a frozen meal that you like. Walk by her and say, “I love those! I make sure to fix steamed carrots whenever I eat them. What dish do you like to fix with it?”

At The Clothing Store
Suppose you see an interesting girl while your shopping. Pick up two different color shirts and ask her which color shirt she thinks looks best on you and why. You can also use the old, “I’m looking for a gift for my female friend’s birthday but I don’t know jack about women’s clothes. Do you think you can help me pick something out?” If she works at the store, she’ll almost always say yes.

At The Park
Let’s say you see a girl about to hike or done hiking one of the trails. Go up to her and say, “You know, I like this trail. It’s very pretty this time of year. What’s your favorite time of year to hike this trail?”

Note: Again, never use pickup lines!

Do you have questions, comments, success stories, or your own suggestions? Please share them by commenting below!

1,572 Responses to “How to start a conversation”

Seth Parker

08. Jun, 2010

Man this is more easier said than done. I try to start conversations with people but I just can’t seem to keep them going. And I guess that’s why I have problem talking to girls. Or is it my weight or the color of my skin. I just don’t understand.
Bang Le

09. Jun, 2010

i never used any of those technique but i would say thats i just walk up to them and start my conversation about something random and just keep changing the subject if the one we on is getting boring just helping out to the fellow guys yall know
Thijs

10. Jun, 2010

I’ll try to make this a short as possible.

Last week i did some voluntary work for a week, i met a very nice lady there, we spoke a bit and that was it. I decided i wanted to ask her out, but i didn’t see her anymore, and i was gonna work there for only one week. So i asked her out by making a note and putting it in a enveloppe. Sunday night i received a text message and she said the note was very nice. But she didnt know yet what to do with it, cause she was taking things easy lately, but she said she was gonna get back to me on that.

The next morning i sent her a message saying i respect that, and that the note probably came as a surprise. But she replied back that she doesnt mind this and likes surprises. She then asked lots of things about how my voluntary work week was, and several text messages went back and forth. Pretty soon she gave me her MSN. All week since monday, we send one or two text messages per day and every evening we have nice conversations on MSN. She told me things that could be considered private, (not nessecarily about her) but things that you expect to hear only when you are a longtime friend, so she trusts me,that is obvious and its of course very good.

But for some reason we haven’t yet talked about personal interests, and personally i find that nothing for MSN. I much rather go for walk, talk alittle, and that way getting to know eachother more. Basically what i’m trying to find out is…does she simply want to be friends and thats it, or could there be more? I have definitely alot of interest in getting to know her better and hoping for more than friendship. I don’t know if her giving her MSN and talking about certain things (what i said earlier) is a indication that she’s also interested in more. Friends have told me…dude just ask her out again. She knows you by now, you saw eachother, talked quite alot already…if she’s digging you, she’ll say yes.

But then i’m like….she said she was gonna get back to me on that. But maybe she never will and is indeed waiting for a second invite…..which i dont have any problem with doing, Cause there’s nothing wrong with it, all i’m showing is to her that i really like her and want more than friendship.

I might send a text message (dont like to do this on MSN i think ) tomorrow and ask her out. But i like to make a message that ain’t the standard ‘Wanna go out etc’ it should be something unusual, original. And i am really thinking about a very nice place to go to with her or take her to. But i don’t know yet what place that is. Any ideas/help?
nick

11. Jun, 2010

heh im 14 and my methods are better than this, and seth just use who what when how and why questions if you want to keep a conversation going and if the conversation starts to fade, dont push it, that just annoys girls
son

11. Jun, 2010

Mr thijs best idea would be to ask her to a picnic or somewhere public and open so she would know worst case scenario it can be lunch or what not with a friend. Bs-ing online is fun but if you want t6 take your friendship to the next level face to face would work out much better.
andrew

16. Jun, 2010

that chick isnt even hot
Sean

16. Jun, 2010

i met this girl at work and i like her we both just ended long term relationships and i think shes into me but she out of the blue asked me to be best friends idk if she really wants to b best friends or is just checking to make sure im not a dick but how do i turn this around
jason

21. Jun, 2010

hmm sean if you want to turn this around you should just start trying to make her jealous man …flirt with her but like for example if you have her number send this to her’ i had so much fun last night ..we should go out soon again’ they usually reply ‘????” then you tell her oh sorry i went out with this girl last night but i guess i accidently sent it to you by mistake e.g her name is also ( then enter the work mate name) you have to test the waters mate and see how she reacts dude coz women like to test men bro look im only 18 but i can tell you that i have learnt from my mistakes and i have gained a new insight on things ..you should also look for signs that shes giving you like if she constantly touches you …or laugh at all your jokes ..and most important of all BE CONFIDENT!!!!!!!!!! there nothing women like more that a confident man hope this helps
Mike

21. Jun, 2010

I’ve seen this girl several times while shes at work.Shes a cashier at walmart i think she is shy and its hard to have a conversation with her cause she gives short answers.I’m pretty sure she is interested because a couple days ago she walked by and we lock eyes and she acts kind of nervous when I walk up.How do i go about gettin her number do i just walk up say “Hi……can I get ur number”? any help is appreciated
sam

24. Jun, 2010

you need to be direct with the ladies. direct but not stalker crazy. its a lot less awkward to come out and say, i like you because..your pretty, your funny, i respect you…whatever.. i think we should go out for dinner, go to the movies or take things to the next level, if you are good friends a knock back will not damage the friendship and you never know her mate might be the perfect girl for you!
and the jealously thing really doesn’t work, that can just confuse the issue. having a female wing man is always awesome, that way you can get someone to put a good word in form you.
and you really don’t need to get a conversation started with a chick, just ask HER a question about HERSELF, chicks love talking about themselves.
nicholas isabu

24. Jun, 2010

i need some one to help me out on this via my email.i met this girl in my new school. she is a very popular person inschool and i cant help getting with her. the problem now is that i dont really know how to start a conversation. some one pls help me out. thanks all
Moha

28. Jun, 2010

Im also 14 years old going on 15 and my method doesnt contain ANY of what u say and it works like hell xD
jur

02. Jul, 2010

all 14 year olds and 15 year olds, picking up girls with fresh grass on the field is totally different. Please dont compare your ways to this,…you will see….when you grow up
david glennon

07. Jul, 2010

i tried it and just blanked.its not easy
jacko

10. Jul, 2010

dont give up david, if we are looking at this web-sight, we are all in this together!
daniel

12. Jul, 2010

just tell them “I always wanna be with you” instead of “I love you”
HOWEVER ITS GOOD FOR NEW FRIENDSHIPS

also admire them for things they think they are not good at….
Kennedy

13. Jul, 2010

Nice work on helping each other out! I finally got my AoG app running on my Droid, so the advice shall come forth regularly! It’s summertime fellas! Enjoy the sunshine and all the pretty ladies. Keep the questions coming – we are here to help!
Ethan

13. Jul, 2010

I am only 14 and I have the biggest crush on a girl, I have never felt this way about her. But she acts very different at school than on MSN. On MSN she is like my best friend and tell me everything, at school she doesn’t like me and doesn’t want to be around me.

AM I ON HER ‘HOOK’ AS THEY SAY. what shoud i do.
Kennedy

13. Jul, 2010

@ Ethan

Sounds like she might be giving you the runaround. Try asking her on MSN sometime if she is interested in going out one weekend. If she is interested, she might just be a shy girl in person. Give it a try and let us know how it goes!
Andrew

15. Jul, 2010

OMG i let another one slip again! Hey ken this just happened to me today. I was at the theatre, buying tickets for toy story 3 when i saw this girl queueing for popcorn, with her friend.

She’s easily a 9/10, and i surprised myself when i locked eyes with her not once, but twice, throwing in a semi-smile for good measure. And then i knew she’d noticed and was talking to her friend about it.

Eventually she came over to ask me to help buy the 2 of them tickets, i did, and then after that i went over to the 2 of them and asked them to help me get a drink as well.

While her friend was at the counter, we talked, and it turns out she’s planning to study the same courses as me for uni. And i really had trouble loosening up when she’s like half a metre away from me!

God, but i did manage to get in some open ended questions, and carried the conversation till the drinks arrived. Then, there was that 2 second window of awkwardness where i was gonna ask her out to coffee, but the cat got my tongue! I tripped up, and her friend whisked her away to the theatre cause they were really late for the show. I didn’t even get her name and i really believe i probably will never see her again.

I’m totally kicking myself for this blunder. On one hand, i thought i took steps forward as i managed to catch the eye of a stunner, but i couldn’t seal the deal, and that really, really, really irritates me right now. Man, i probably won’t meet or talk up such a beauty like her in 3 months at least.
Kennedy

15. Jul, 2010

@ Andrew

In sales they teach a technique called “asking for the sale.” All the great conversation and pleasantries will be for nothing if you don’t ask them if they are ready to buy (or go out for that coffee).

You made great strides my friend. Just remember next time to take a deep breath before you ask her out. You can do it!
mark

16. Jul, 2010

hey Im having trouble kissing my girl friend
any suggestion?
Kennedy

16. Jul, 2010

@ mark

Let’s shoot for the moon on this one! The next time you two have a moment alone, just lean in without saying a word and plant one on her lips. Most girls find that very romantic when their boyfriends do that. Take a deep breath, and go for it!
Andrew

18. Jul, 2010

Hey Ken! I just got a girl’s number and email, we met at a university fair. Should i just drop her a short & sweet email to facilitate future conversations?
Kennedy

18. Jul, 2010

@ Andrew

That’s a great start! Just a short note on how you had a great time, and you will give her a call some time this week. Make sure to drop your phone number at the end of your email for good measure. Nice work!
MissJade

23. Jul, 2010

Hey boys…Chick’s advice here. So I read a few of these and few of you mentioned the MSN and texting kiss of death. I’ve actually made a vow to never relay on texting or messaging as the intial means to a new relationship. Yes you may talk for hours about stuff but her intrest level will drop once she’s done. There’s something to be said about having those intimate convos in person that builds interest and bonds (or not). I actually had a guy do this to me and I realized he was too avaiable for me, which translated to smothering, and I felt like we should be having these convos in person not via g-chat which translated to he doesn’t know how to hold a convo in person (lack of confidence isn’t sexy on any gender). So I suggest if you find yourself in this postion stop relaying on technological covers and call her up and ask her out on a real date, if she says no she’s not that into you and move on if she says yes have a 3-4 times per week texting limit (this is for the early part of you dating).

Also to whoeve said make her jealous this only works on insecure drama girls, if that’s your thing cool but a real woman who’s secure and confident will not put up with that game and leave you beyond fast.
Michael

23. Jul, 2010

@ Miss Jade
You are right. Guys, the best thing is to man up and call her. Women love confident men. Great comment Jade!
Jimmy

24. Jul, 2010

@david glennon

not easy but possible just keep trying.
Allen

24. Jul, 2010

@MissJade
You are absolutely right!
I talk fluently when it comes to MSN or texting. It just isnt enough for them girls. But when I call or see the girl I just seem to struggle opening up conversations and keeping them flowing. Its just lame!

Ughh, I cant believe im actually posting on here.
Denny

25. Jul, 2010

Man im 12 yrs old and.i dont have a nice body or a bad one i just dont know how to start a conversation at the beach or other places cuz the ones above sound too mature for me and i never know if the girl im onto has a boyfriend or not
Denny

25. Jul, 2010

I meant to. Say im 13
MissJade

26. Jul, 2010

@ Allen
One of things that I have noticed that a lot of guys who I meet and then have ZERO interest in talking to again is that they talk AT ME rather than TO ME. By this mean rather then working to include me in the conversation or bounce back questions they end up talking about themselves the whole time (as if I’m really interested in the water system of the Bay Area…seriously for 2 hours this dude talked to me about his work!) not once did he ask questions about me or even make me laugh. And that’s a biggie I would consider a successful encounter to be one filled with joking and laughter, as I think most women would agree. Men who can’t crack a joke or even laugh at one’s that women make generally turn out to take themselves too seriously and generally that turns me off. If you can make her laugh by sharing silly stories that happened to you or to a friend you can break the ice. Once she starts laughing conversation generally starts to flow after. Also, another tip don’t lecture her, by this I mean brag or boost about how amazing you think you are about something or try to impress her with how stuff you have or know. I know a lot of guys think that this impresses women, it doesn’t and it’s a huge turn-off…yuck! So go in confident armed with a couple funny stories, a good ear and pretend like your catching-up with a long lost friend to take some of the pressure off and you’ll do fine!
Allen

27. Jul, 2010

Miss Jade, I’m surprised how you spend that much time on a comment to help someone that you don’t even know!
Kennedy and Mike too, you guys are just amazing. The whole community actually is great!
_
Well heres my story, I’m almost 18. Although always thought single life was just the best, I have had two relationships before, One of them was 3 years ago (Julia) she was the same age as me but a grade below. The relationship actually ended one week after it started because the girl traveled back to her country!! (Russia)
Last year, I met this girl (Sally) through my cousin and one month later, we were together. We broke up after a month because I didn’t like the fact that she lived 6 hours away from me. So yeah, they weren’t that successful.
Anyway, Truth is, I didn’t really love any of them, I just pretended I did because I didn’t want to embarrass any of them. They both somehow asked me out, just in a different way.
So as you see, I got ZERO experience!
_
2 weeks ago, I met four English girls that were here on a holiday. They were all very sweet, but ugh, one of them was just lovely! (Jessica) I first tried to convince myself she was just like any other girl and tell myself about the single life and how great it is. But one day I just had to face it, I really did like her! We hung out all together, beach, safari, clubs etc. The three other girls started to see that I treated her slightly different from them. And the smile I had when we locked eyes. They then said she also fancied me. It was then my turn to make a move. I knew a constant relationship wouldn’t work out, but i just wanted to be with her at least for a few days. I kept postponing it day after day. Until suddenly, their holiday was over! The goodbye hug just wasn’t that easy. I just then realized how stupid I was to let her go! Its all my fault I know. The same day she left, I found myself on Google searching for any tips and stuff that could help me later on because going through this just wasn’t fun.
_
Thanks for reading. I’m feeling a lot better now that I shared this with you guys.
Psshht, this is a secret, no one else knows
Bryan

29. Jul, 2010

Sometimes I see a girl in the subway, or on the street that I really want to get to know. Im usualy able to come up with something on the spot that is interesting to talk about. But sometimes nothing seems to hit me, and all I end up saying is “good morning”. or “hows it going” which is pretty lame, and the convo doesnt go anywhere. And I feel awkward and so does she. So is there something that ALWAYS works? well maybe not always but 80% of the time?
Cameron

30. Jul, 2010

HAAHA im twelve and usin these techniques or however yah spell it, i got a fourteen yr old gf….HELL YEAH!
David

01. Aug, 2010

I`m 16 and I have had a major crush on a girl since Pre-K but when my school closed She moved to Flordia and I got homeschooled. But now She is back and coming to Church. I need advice on how to talk to girls who are smarter than you.
Eric

01. Aug, 2010

k i started working at a retail store one year ago and i met this girl that i really like but never had the guts to go up to her and talk to her, but there is times where she will look at me and immedietly look away. so a year has past and i find out that she will be leaving soon to go to college and so i need to make my move now so i was wondering if anyone had any advice on how i should talk to her because i only see her during work and if walking to the car if i get out at the same time. someone pls help me out. thanks! email me pls.
Charle

03. Aug, 2010

Need advice asap! Ok, so my options aren’t limited on which girl or where to talk to a specific girl I’d like to get to know better. The only problem with me is I am bad at selling myself. I don’t have any special talents, I don’t play a guitar, I don’t skateboard, I’m not extremely athletic, or the typical tall, dark, and handsome. How might an average guy like myself catch a very pretty girl’s attention to the point where I don’t need to be a rockstar to get her to like me? Well, I guess I have a proficiency and extreme knowledge in technology, but few girls are interested in that unique skill….
David

08. Aug, 2010

Hang in there Charle. Most guys are average,including Me.But eventualy you will find a girl who likes you just the way you are
Charle

15. Aug, 2010

Need advice asap! I moved in yesterday and one of my room mates is a girl. She is very pretty, and as I was leaving( because I spent the night at my new place) I ran into her. My natural reaction was that I said hi to her but that’s just it. She was very very pretty, and because of this I froze up. Please help!
Dante

17. Aug, 2010

Hey guys need some help, just turned 17 and i work at a homegoods and alot of pretty girls go there with their moms how can i approach a girl with her mom being there?
Allen

18. Aug, 2010

Get her mom then get to her
Michael

20. Aug, 2010

@ Dante
That’s a tough situation. Your best shot is to be very complimentary to both the girl & the mom. Especially the mom. Tell them how good of taste they have in whatever they’re buying.
You’ve really got to feel situations like these out. If you get a good vibe, comment on how much they look alike and imply that they are pretty.
Good luck!
Michael

20. Aug, 2010

@ Charle
You’re natural reaction was a good one. You should say hi. You’re going to have to learn to overcome that nervousness. Otherwise she might get the impression that you’re weird. To overcome it start small like saying hi and asking her how her day went.
Good luck!
Ross

22. Aug, 2010

Ok I am 16 and I have a big crush on this girl in my class, she is one year older than me, and I really really like her, we knew each other for about a year but I just started to have feelings for her. She sits next to me and mine and her eyes locked like 3-4 times in 3 days ( my school just started). I am always shy to talk to her because one she’s stunning and two i have a feeling i’ll mess up. We talk but its like short conversations (on/off), our class is 90 mins so its like on/off. But after reading this site I have learned alot. But I dont know if she has feelings for me. PLEASE HELP!

Kenn, Mike, and Miss Jade, I love how you guys are so interacted and helping people. Keep up the great work!

P.S I love how
Donte

23. Aug, 2010

Yo so there’s this cute rich girl up in my school. I wanna get wit her. Problem is dat she live in the rich side of town and idk if shell like me cuz of dat. I play fball and drums. There ain’t not way I’m gonna walk up to her with a drum set and start banging in the hallway
Ross

23. Aug, 2010

today went well, I had a long conversation with her and I felt like she actually liked me, (as a friend maybe). But I owe it to everybody on this site, THANKS!
Clueless

24. Aug, 2010

Hey guys, this is my first post, I just want to post this saying that I have never start a convo with a girl that I’m intrested in. N im 18
I recently saw a girl that catches my attention n make my heart race, but I don’t have the confidence, lack of knowledge, like how to start a convo with a girl, maybe because in my whole life, I’ve been playing sports n haven’t focus in these areas till now. Any advice would help. Like if a girl is studying by herself or with a friend of hers, how do I approach this? and how do I prolong this convo? and show her that I’m interested in her. Like I’m reallly how can u say it, pathetic at this section, if you can give me some advice thanks alot
Michael

26. Aug, 2010

@ Ross
Great job man! You’re doing great!
Jeff

26. Aug, 2010

Ok, so I’m 15 and there’s this girl in my gym class, and I just can’t stop thinking about her. I’ve known her since 7th grade but only seen her around the hallways until this year. and whenever our eyes meet they dart away from eachother cuz she’s kinda shy, and so am I, when it comes to girls anyway. So, about a week ago she sent me a friend request on facebook. And I was like, is this a joke? Cuz I didn’t even know her. And a couple days after that she asked me to join her group for a game in gym, and I did. But i don’t really know how to talk to her cuz I’ve only had one girlfriend before, and it was like fourth grade. So, yesterday I started a conversation with her on facebook. We talked for a while and then she had to go eat dinner. So, I was thinkin, ok I’ll try to ask her out, but here’s the catch, she’s got a boy friend. so, I’m getting kinda mixed messages. . Any way, so I figured I’d just try to get to know her better first, but I keep chickening out, and it doesn’t help that every time I see her she’s surrounded by a group of friends and don’t want to get embaressed.

How to start a conversation

1,572 Responses to “How to start a conversation”

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