How to start a conversation

The first step is to act quickly
When you see a girl that interests you, act quickly. Go right up to her and start a conversation. Never stall. Stalling will cause you to either psych yourself out or cause you to miss an opportunity (she’ll leave before you work up the courage to approach her). Worse yet, a lot of guys stall and never find the courage to talk to the girl. If you find yourself in this situation it’s time to be a man and walk right up to the girl and start talking. Trust me, you can do it!

How to start a conversation with a girl like this

How to start a conversation with a girl like this

Observe her and the surroundings
As you walk up to the girl start observing her (what’s she’s wearing, holding, doing and how she looks). Also, observe the immediate surroundings (are you in a book store, coffee shop, park). The more you observe, the more subjects you have to talk about. The more you have to talk about, the greater the chance she will like you. So pay close attention to your surroundings and hers.

Note: Never, ever use pickup lines! Girls don’t find them clever and they make you look desperate. In a conversation, girls look for authenticity - for something real. Pickup lines come off as anything but real.

Talking props
You know what a stage prop is right? It’s an object (furniture, books, plants, etc.) that help the audience know exactly where the scene takes place. The actors interact with these props. Talking props are objects that help you interact with the girls you meet. For instance, that book she’s holding is a talking prop - tell her it looks interesting and ask her what it’s about. Talking props are also objects you posses. An example is your dog, a great prop. If you’re out walking your dog in a park, especially if it’s a puppy, many girls stop to look at it - an excellent conversation starter!

Always ask open-ended questions
This is the key to keeping a conversation flowing. Nothing kills a conversation fast than asking a yes or no question. Here are some examples of bad yes or no questions: Did you like the new Harry Potter movie? Is that a good book? Do you like dogs? These question can all be answered with a simple yes or no which causes the conversation to not flow naturally.

Here are some examples of better questions: What did you like about the new Harry Potter movie? That book looks interesting; why are you reading it? What’s your favorite thing about dogs?

See the difference? Those questions cause the girl to give a more thoughtful response, which leads to more talking, than simple yes or no questions.

Sample Conversation Starters

    At The Coffee Shop
    If you’re standing in line at a coffee shop and a pretty girl is behind you, observe your surroundings. You might notice the unique mugs they have for sale. That’s an excellent prop to start a conversation. Turn to the girl and say something like, “Gee, that’s a really neat mug. What do you think about it?” Bam! Instant conversation!

    At The Book Store
    Suppose there’s a pretty girls standing next to computer book section (yes, it does happen!). You notice she’s holding a book on image editing techniques. Go up to her and say, “I hear that’s a good book. What are you looking to edit?”

    At The Library
    You see a girl studying an American literary history book. Say to her, “Hey I’m thinking about taking that class. My friend said it’s good but tough. What’s your opinion?”

    At The Grocery Store
    You see a girl buying a frozen meal that you like. Walk by her and say, “I love those! I make sure to fix steamed carrots whenever I eat them. What dish do you like to fix with it?”

    At The Clothing Store
    Suppose you see an interesting girl while your shopping. Pick up two different color shirts and ask her which color shirt she thinks looks best on you and why. You can also use the old, “I’m looking for a gift for my female friend’s birthday but I don’t know jack about women’s clothes. Do you think you can help me pick something out?” If she works at the store, she’ll almost always say yes.

    At The Park
    Let’s say you see a girl about to hike or done hiking one of the trails. Go up to her and say, “You know, I like this trail. It’s very pretty this time of year. What’s your favorite time of year to hike this trail?”

Note: Again, never use pickup lines!

Do you have questions, comments, success stories, or your own suggestions? Please share them by commenting below!

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1,285 Responses to “How to start a conversation”

  1. Louie

    27. Aug, 2010

    I got a situation, I know this girl and we went out, i met her parents and she said its pretty obvious this a date so some time has went by and now its got to the point where she’s tellin me she’s got too much goin on for a relationship and a relationship just isnt really in her plans, and she says she dont wana kiss me without the intention of dating me, I need help!

  2. Louie

    27. Aug, 2010

    For got to add that it seems she kind has some fears maybe because the last dude she dated cheated on her and thats one of the reasons plus she kinda ignores me when i compliment her…but idk maybe it just fears she’s havin idk please help it’ll be much appreciated, Thanks -Louie

  3. Michael

    28. Aug, 2010

    @ Louie
    I feel your pain. I actually dated a girl who told me the same thing. She too had a past boyfriend cheat on her. Cheating will give anyone trust issues. This girl I dated gave me the same situation; we went out on dates but she didn’t know if she wanted to date me because she wasn’t sure if she had time or even wanted a relationship. The good news is that we worked past that little road block & it turned out to be one amazing relationship. Here’s how I did that.
    You’ve got to be willing to put your pride aside, take risks, and not be afraid to be rejected. Don’t take her uncertain “I’m not sure I want to date” for an answer. Keep showing her you’re interested by doing nice things for her and complimenting her. You’ve got to show her, not just tell her, that you’re different from other guys.
    Girls deep down want two things: to be pursued and to know they are truly loved. So don’t give up until you hear “Louie, I don’t want to date you.”
    That’s what I did and it worked out amazingly for me. It took months for her to trust me and want to be in a relationship. But it was worth it!
    Good luck Louie!

  4. John

    28. Aug, 2010

    theres a girl i like and she calls me buddy or bestfriend. idk if that means she likes me or hates me.

  5. Michael

    28. Aug, 2010

    @ John
    Don’t worry, she obviously doesn’t hate you. The only way to find out if she likes you romantically is to start asking her out on date-type situations. Just start slowly. Ask her to dinner one night.
    Good luck John!

  6. Ryan

    28. Aug, 2010

    How do I Start a conversation with a girl for the first time? Someone who probably doesn’t even know who I am.

  7. Michael

    29. Aug, 2010

    @ Ryan
    Did you even bother to read the post above?

  8. Charle

    29. Aug, 2010

    Ok, need some advice. That girl in my drawing class from last year is in my class again this year. I’m at a pivotal point in my life where I can choose to completely disregard her as nothing more than a friend, or I can valiantly attempt to get to know her better. I see both options going well one way or another. Or possibly I could not try to be so desperate to attract her, and naturally let things work out on their own? Advice would be helpful!

  9. justin

    29. Aug, 2010

    you guys didnt discuss how to start a conversation with a girl walking on a street because thats where my problem is what will i say to her

  10. Michael

    29. Aug, 2010

    @ Justin
    The same techniques can be used on the street. Just use a little creativity. :)

  11. Louie

    29. Aug, 2010

    @ Michael Thanks for the advice! Also have another question theres this other girl i used to talk to but lost her number now i got her number and i started talkin to her again but theres kind of an issue she has a boyfriend, i would leave it alone but she like told me that she’s glad i got her number again and when i compliment her she likes it and and she compliments me too, also she said her boyfriend gets mad when she talks to other guys, So idk what to do? also another quick question when texting a girl you may like should i always make the effort to text her first or just text her every now and then or what?, Please let me know, Much appreciated! -Louie

  12. Louie

    29. Aug, 2010

    @ Michael The girl i was talking about in the earlier comments i was wondering if it would be too much by taking this girl flowers and showing her i care?

  13. Ryan

    29. Aug, 2010

    Hey, uh, I really like this girl but I don’t really know how to talk to girls, so I was thinkin I would just talk to a couple of other girls, kinda as a warm up/ test u no? So when I talked to the girl I actually liked, I wouldn’t screw it up. Do you think that’s a good idea?

  14. saketh

    30. Aug, 2010

    hey ,i love a girl ..shes my classmate and she knows that i love her …but i dint proposed her till now …!!she got many proposal …..and i wanna know that she love me or not ….do i have to propose her now ….help me please…

  15. Michael

    30. Aug, 2010

    @ Louie
    You should definitely text her. Don’t worry so much about how often you should text. Instead focus on making your texts fun. As far as flowers go, that’s your call. But I normally reserve that move till after the relationship is well established.

  16. Michael

    30. Aug, 2010

    @ Ryan
    That’s a great idea!

  17. th0r

    30. Aug, 2010

    Hi, I’m new here. Thanks to Mr. Google I’m able to find your website which i find kinda helpful.
    I feel like asking your advice, i am having affection toward this girl, and we’re close to each other. But when i start asking her about her type of man, she says she doesn’t go for those of different religion, which is our case. But i dont think i really can forget her as well.
    Should i keep in contact with her and let the feeling build, or should i just try to keep distance from her? Please tell me your opinion guys =)
    And maybe some tips on topic that women love on msn chat? because i find myself sometimes lost when chatting to her.
    Thanks alot guys

  18. Jack

    30. Aug, 2010

    Hey if we wanna ask for d phone number of sum grl whose unknown to us hw shud we approach for it?

  19. jak

    30. Aug, 2010

    plz plz plzzzzzzzzzzzzz help me i am a looser with girls:S i make the girl fall in love with me for 2 days max then i make her go away…i am very bad with conversation what does girls love to talk about?? plz help me

  20. Michael

    30. Aug, 2010

    @ Jak
    Girls are like everyone else. Find out what hobbies she likes then talk about those.

  21. Louie

    30. Aug, 2010

    @ Michael Ok well theres this other girl i used to talk to but lost her number now i got her number and i started talkin to her again but theres kind of an issue she has a boyfriend, i would leave it alone but she like told me that she’s glad i got her number again and when i compliment her she likes it and and she compliments me too, also she said her boyfriend gets mad when she talks to other guys, So idk what to do?

  22. Charle

    30. Aug, 2010

    I need advice immediately! I am trying my hardest not to be the bad guy, but it’s almost tough not to intervene. Here’s the story: A good friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend. According to her, no reason at all he did this. My question is should I do the good Samaritan thing and intervene, trying to patch this, or let things unfold as they are? She’s very pretty, I’d like to get to know her better, but I can’t just dis my friend like this. Please help!

  23. Luis

    30. Aug, 2010

    i like this girl and she told me she liked me. but as soon as i was tellin her i really liked her she juss never taled to me anymore. she wont return my text or messages. i awkd if i did anything to make her feel bad or uncomfortable but she wont reply. its been a few months since we talked. do i still have a chance?

  24. Luis

    30. Aug, 2010

    sorry for my spelling, im on my iphone, she wont talk to me and iys not awked its asked…

  25. Dominic

    01. Sep, 2010

    I have a question there is this girl I like but the thing is I have a record of being mean an gross from like 3 years ago. But there is another problem I have this desease were i Break easy an Im shorter than other people an ever time I want to talk to her there is an adult right waching me an pushing me cause im in a wheelchair so it’s kind of hard to get a word in if I cant talk without being watch every second of every day what should I do?

  26. No-name

    02. Sep, 2010

    Someone please help me! I really like this girl and shes in my P.E. and art class. She is beautiful and I don’t feel like I could even ask her out. A lot guys think she’s hot and I don’t know what to do. She seems to be kind of shy and it doesn’t look like she has that many friends yet. Please help!

  27. shaoran

    03. Sep, 2010

    i love a girl but she is 1 grade smaller than me how can i start a conversation with her???

  28. Andrew B.

    04. Sep, 2010

    There is this girl at school I really like but I really don’t know her well. I can’t tell if she is interested or not. I have talked to her before in a class because she asked a question. She does not live near me at all so I can talk to her after school. What should I do.

  29. Michael

    04. Sep, 2010

    @ Dominic
    I love that you refuse to let your disability determine how you live your life. You’re an inspiration!
    Perhaps if you told whomever is pushing you in the wheelchair that you like the girl, they would stop so you can talk.
    You’ve got to make time with and be nice to people to show them you’re not that mean guy anymore.
    Good luck Dominic!

  30. Dominic

    04. Sep, 2010

    alright thanks michael ill try doing that when school start ill tell you what happens thanks

  31. Achintya

    05. Sep, 2010

    @michael i have a girl in my college i liked her frm day one .she does notice me watching her . I have a senior friend how is her friend too . I told him the whole stry and told him to ask her if she would like to be my friend . But she refused . Now few months have passed plz tel me what should i do to make things happen b/w us . . Do reply pl its very impt fr me

  32. JJ

    06. Sep, 2010

    I have a college class and iv been sitting next to this very attrective girl. Iv been wanting to talk to her and get to know her but i just cant find a way to start conversation with her. What should i do in this situation?

  33. me

    07. Sep, 2010

    i have a really complicated problem. I really like a girl at school but i found out that she likes my friend but my friend likes someone else. Im affraid that if i ask her out that she will reject me because she likes someone else. But i really like her. What do i do. Help!! please!

  34. AFgolkeeper

    07. Sep, 2010

    i’ve got a problem. i’ve liked this girl for 2 years but i never got the confidence to talk to her mostly because i had very little opportunities. now at my new school i have a locker that’s next to hers but she just runs off with her friends and i never seem to find a right time to talk to her. i first met her 2 years ago when the teacher made us work together as partners. i’ve never worked with anyone smarter than me before since i had been and still am the smartest kid in my class. i loved working with her because we always finished everything quick and got it all right. then a few weeks later we switched seats and that was the last time i ever worked with her. she still asked me for help every once in a while but after a few months she quit talking to me and i lost confidence and never fully recovered. i also have very poor social skills but i do have some very good close friends.

  35. AFgolkeeper

    07. Sep, 2010

    i forgot to mention why i have poor social skills since i ran out of time. i wear hearing aids but they’re the smallest ones. they don’t really affect the way i look since you can’t see them unless you look closely but they affect the way i communicate with people. when i first met the girl i like i wore the hearing aids that go over your ear and she didn’t seem to mind and she had a lot of patience talking to me because she has to repeat things and speak clearly to me everytime. my friends do respect me and so do a lot of people but sometimes others will lose patience and quit talking to me. i feel like i’m trapped with just the friends that i’ve got.

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