How to start a conversation

The first step is to act quickly
When you see a girl that interests you, act quickly. Go right up to her and start a conversation. Never stall. Stalling will cause you to either psych yourself out or cause you to miss an opportunity (she’ll leave before you work up the courage to approach her). Worse yet, a lot of guys stall and never find the courage to talk to the girl. If you find yourself in this situation it’s time to be a man and walk right up to the girl and start talking. Trust me, you can do it!

How to start a conversation with a girl like this

How to start a conversation with a girl like this


Observe her and the surroundings
As you walk up to the girl start observing her (what’s she’s wearing, holding, doing and how she looks). Also, observe the immediate surroundings (are you in a book store, coffee shop, park). The more you observe, the more subjects you have to talk about. The more you have to talk about, the greater the chance she will like you. So pay close attention to your surroundings and hers.

Note: Never, ever use pickup lines! Girls don’t find them clever and they make you look desperate. In a conversation, girls look for authenticity – for something real. Pickup lines come off as anything but real.

Talking props
You know what a stage prop is right? It’s an object (furniture, books, plants, etc.) that help the audience know exactly where the scene takes place. The actors interact with these props. Talking props are objects that help you interact with the girls you meet. For instance, that book she’s holding is a talking prop – tell her it looks interesting and ask her what it’s about. Talking props are also objects you posses. An example is your dog, a great prop. If you’re out walking your dog in a park, especially if it’s a puppy, many girls stop to look at it – an excellent conversation starter!

Always ask open-ended questions
This is the key to keeping a conversation flowing. Nothing kills a conversation fast than asking a yes or no question. Here are some examples of bad yes or no questions: Did you like the new Harry Potter movie? Is that a good book? Do you like dogs? These question can all be answered with a simple yes or no which causes the conversation to not flow naturally.

Here are some examples of better questions: What did you like about the new Harry Potter movie? That book looks interesting; why are you reading it? What’s your favorite thing about dogs?

See the difference? Those questions cause the girl to give a more thoughtful response, which leads to more talking, than simple yes or no questions.

Sample Conversation Starters

    At The Coffee Shop
    If you’re standing in line at a coffee shop and a pretty girl is behind you, observe your surroundings. You might notice the unique mugs they have for sale. That’s an excellent prop to start a conversation. Turn to the girl and say something like, “Gee, that’s a really neat mug. What do you think about it?” Bam! Instant conversation!

    At The Book Store
    Suppose there’s a pretty girls standing next to computer book section (yes, it does happen!). You notice she’s holding a book on image editing techniques. Go up to her and say, “I hear that’s a good book. What are you looking to edit?”

    At The Library
    You see a girl studying an American literary history book. Say to her, “Hey I’m thinking about taking that class. My friend said it’s good but tough. What’s your opinion?”

    At The Grocery Store
    You see a girl buying a frozen meal that you like. Walk by her and say, “I love those! I make sure to fix steamed carrots whenever I eat them. What dish do you like to fix with it?”

    At The Clothing Store
    Suppose you see an interesting girl while your shopping. Pick up two different color shirts and ask her which color shirt she thinks looks best on you and why. You can also use the old, “I’m looking for a gift for my female friend’s birthday but I don’t know jack about women’s clothes. Do you think you can help me pick something out?” If she works at the store, she’ll almost always say yes.

    At The Park
    Let’s say you see a girl about to hike or done hiking one of the trails. Go up to her and say, “You know, I like this trail. It’s very pretty this time of year. What’s your favorite time of year to hike this trail?”

Note: Again, never use pickup lines!

Do you have questions, comments, success stories, or your own suggestions? Please share them by commenting below!

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1,572 Responses to “How to start a conversation”

  1. gaurav1989

    11. Aug, 2011

    hey can someone please tell me how to initiate the conversation with girl in gym!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Fahd

    11. Aug, 2011

    Hey Gaurav1989: That’s easy man all you do is wait for her to finish her workout and stand near the exit and wait till she is about to leave and turn to her and say

    Hey you seemed to be really pushing yourself on the workout? What are you training for?

    And bam!! Instant conversation starter :-) .

  3. troubled101

    11. Aug, 2011

    Hey guys/girls I have seen this girl down my lane and im quite into her…..but i don’t know her or her name or anything and she is usually with a mate what can i do ?

  4. Gauss

    13. Aug, 2011

    I have a girl in my college(in separate class) and i admire her a lot.Although we are in the same college and often see one another,but still we never talked with eachother face to face.On the other hand,we interact a lot using online chats(sometimes,even for the whole day).Whenever i see her,i find it damn difficult to talk to her(she might be finding the same difficulty).so with the result,we are like strangers in reality and like very close friends online.
    plz tell me how to get out of this mess?

  5. Luke

    15. Aug, 2011

    There’s a girl I’ve seen twice, hottest female I’ve seen except in magazines. I rode my bike this morning early and I came back and she was walking alongside my house with her Grandma. I said hi, but all she did was smile very into me. Next move?

  6. Luke

    15. Aug, 2011

    There’s a girl I’ve seen twice, hottest female I’ve seen except in magazines. I rode my bike this morning early and I came back and she was walking alongside my house with her Grandma. I said hi, but all she did was smile very into me. Next move?s

  7. Zach Samborski

    16. Aug, 2011

    I really like this girl who works at the local taco bell and she was giving me the eye I think. I’m not a mind reader though so I have no idea what she’s thinking. Me and my buddies were in there for about 5 to 10 minutes but I didn’t say anything to her besides my order. I want to go back and talk to her but I don’t know when she works and more importantly I don’t know how to start the conversation off. I don’t want to say something generic either. Any ideas would help and i will personally send you $100 if you give me some good advice and it works Thanks a lot

  8. Rich

    16. Aug, 2011

    I never believed in love at first sight but I cant stop thinking about this girl at my workplace. We talked just briefly but she appears to be very shy as I can be as well. The problem is she works nights at my job and I work days and I really want to talk with her again. What can I do.

    Thanks

  9. excel

    17. Aug, 2011

    Ok, I have a big issue. I have a friend who has moved to my hometown, but his sister never did. Well he had moved back to his hometown, and then a year later he comes back. This time his sister comes! She’s the most beautiful girl I have seen! She texts me and we talk, but not much things to talk about. (Need help.) Anyways, her dad is a Pastor, and then I really wanna talk to her as in a dating style. But, I’m not sure how well I should ask for his approval. And I’m definetly not that type that does that! How can I get her to know that I wanna talk to her? Without things getting outta hand.

  10. troubled101

    19. Aug, 2011

    hmm seen as i seem to be getting no replies ill answer some of the latest ones (nothing set in stone so don’t shoot me down in flames if its wrong its just ideas….

    @Gauss
    Ermm try arrange to just meat up with her ? find out if you live locally to each other take her to the pub for a few drinks if you are both old enough :) through a house party and invite her ?
    and if you truly like her one of you will talk it usually takes the man to make the move and seen as your at the same collage you have lots to talk about like what subjects are you taking what grades did you get in your resent a Alevels. A good compliment is always ace like “your hair is really nice like that” or i like those ear rings where do you get them im looking for a Christmas present for my mum” (seen as its coming up to Christmas the faster you get to know her the better maybe get her a box of chocolate) over come your fears and talk to her mate its the only way :) hope it goes well and please let me know :)

    @Zach Samborski
    Don’t give up and don’t get me wrong but those places sometimes people do that sort of thing (makes people possible leave more of a tip)

    firstly go there the same day and time usually these places have set shifts so chances are she will be there the same time and same day (again maybe not) also they can be set weekly so she will be there one week not the next if you get me :)

    as to starting a conversation well again you could always use the “there really nice where did you get those as im searching for a Christmas prezzie for my mum” or even just ask her what time she finishes and see if she would like to go to a pub with you (sometimes busy places are the best gives you more to talk about) DON’T offer to go out with her then take her to her work everyone hates going to there work when they don’t have to.

    a little more on the conversation side of things well just chin up be confident you could offer to buy her a drink its thirsty work in these kinda places :)
    Again hope it all goes well and let me know :)

    @Rich
    Offer to work nights ?
    there aint to much you could do really as she will want to rest during the day so if you got the after noon off or what ever you couldn’t go out with her somewhere you could offer to take her out to tea one night then drive her to work after the tea :) (presuming you can drive)
    other than this i cant really help
    But all the same good luck :)

    @excel
    Ermm what do you mean ask for his approval for starters you need to get to know her first b4 you start asking for approval :P her being your mates sister makes it easyier as you will find something to talk about a bit better.
    best tip i can give you is don’t go straight into dating style chatting (as in yea go out for a few drinks or a meal or what ever but just as friends get to know her and what she is like first) Getting to know her dad would make it easier in the future if you went on to asking of his approval as you know how to ask him (if he is the bubbly, want a laugh kinda guy then just go up to him while he is cooking or washing up do doing something away from everyone els and just ask him what he would say if you said that you really like his daughters company what would he think if you started dating her ? )
    all the same i wish you the best of luck :)

    Big tip for everone NEVER use chat up chances are they will get you laid for one night and not into a long term relationship if you want a long term one then you need to get to know the person well then move onto going out together and so on and son….even go out of walks or anything if the person you wanna get to know has a dog then offer to company them on the walk they take there dog on…..
    I wish you all the very best of luck and it can be hard :)
    lemme know how you all get on please (also lemme know if you find this helpful in anyway shape or form.
    P.S sorry if there’s tons of spelling mistakes i cant be bothered to do through it all :)

  11. Yoshi

    20. Aug, 2011

    I was never the type to go out to clubs and such, but mainly because all my friends didn’t exactly live close by. But since awhile now i know this girl, we are just friends and nothing but, but i started to hang out with her more and we recently hit town and checked out several clubs. One was a jazz-club and it was great, nice atmosphere,quiet and just cool.

    I had alittle eye contact with a lady there, but i didn’t do anything with it. She was talking to her lady friend and glanced several times at me, but as i said..i am very new to these things and for a long time i haven’t been dating at all. I’ve seen plenty other lovely ladies, but i ain’t a hero when it comes to those things, i’m more like a chicken in that regard. But still, the next time this happens…i should do something, but what? Should i buy a drink and hand it to her?

    I’m really on the lookout for a new girl, it’s been too long and i’m craving for a nice girlfriend again to be honest. I’m not too keen on dating sites so i need to find other ways.

  12. Kamal

    21. Aug, 2011

    I like a girl in my school he is new in school but in other section i want to talk to her but i cant understand what to talk to her

  13. Soham singh

    21. Aug, 2011

    I want to talk to girl by phone but i am hesitate what to talk to her because its my first talk to that girl and i dont know her.

  14. Ryan

    22. Aug, 2011

    Really nice post man. So all we need is to find the courage to approach the girl and a few conversation starters to get us moving. After that it’s up to our skills with women to bring the situation to where we want it to go.

  15. trigger

    24. Aug, 2011

    how do you start a conversation with someone you know in school but she aint in your class

  16. AJ

    24. Aug, 2011

    Please, How do i start a conversation with a girl in my math class?

  17. pablo

    28. Aug, 2011

    escuchen! sean ustedes mismos! esten preguntando en unos sitios web…!! tranqilos… aunqe a mui pocos años de edad puedo conseguir a cualquier chica!! es mui facil! no necesitas saber como hablar lo unico que debes saber es lo que le gusta…. uno forma facil es conocer a una de sus amigas ! y sino debes de comenzar una conversacion simple …… no debes de preguntar cosas que puedan incomodar a la persona…. antes de comenzar a hablar con una chica.. debes saber que le vas a decir porque el hombre debe comenzar la conversacion no esperen que las chicas les pregunten algo…! si tienes CONFIANZA! lo tienes too! solo necesitas CONFIANZA!
    antes de acercarte … si eres timido aunque sea date un minuto para pensar que diras i respira! porqe si te acercas sin un tema de conversacion la chica simplemente se alejara o sentira pena por ti ….. e intentara que una amia la lleve a otro lado!!! solo les qiero dar un consejo!:
    - CONFIANZA!!

  18. SouthMeckStunna

    24. Sep, 2011

    Sometimes when i try to have a conversation with new girls they turn out to be shy, which makes it REALLY hard to keep a conversation going… Any tips on shy girls???

  19. JT

    06. Oct, 2011

    Having good, confident conversations is one of the building blocks to becoming more outgoing–and in turn more confident in general. I work with guys who have a hard time talking to women, and this is something they really struggle with. I know you weren’t writing with that segment in mind, but the info you have is really interesting and I’m going to incorporate some of the principles in my daily work. I’m starting a series of posts about becoming outgoing/confidence building on my blog at http://www.online-dating-mastery.com/?p=1692, and hope it will help people get out of the rut they find themselves in. Thank you for the great information. JT

  20. LW

    16. Oct, 2011

    I like this boy but he is popular and I’m a little and I’m shy to talk to him but my friends say he is reallly nice and loves to talk and I want to I’m just nervouse. But there is a huge problem he told my Best Friend that she is hot and started asking her if she has dated anyone or kissed and I’m scarred. PLEASE HELP I need advice.
    Thank you.

  21. amjad

    03. Jan, 2012

    thanks dude you help me to start talk her i will try it early

  22. Authentic Online Dating Tips For Men

    05. Jan, 2012

    When you see a woman you like, it’s extremely important that you talk to her immediately, even within the first three seconds. That way there is no emotional investment in it. If you wait to long, you start going into “analysis paralysis.”

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