The right way to start talking to girls
Posted on 09. Apr, 2009 by Kennedy in How to Talk to Girls, Increase Your Confidence
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These are examples of open-ended questions. Open-ended questions are great for conversation starters, and they also come in handy to help extend a conversation that might have otherwise become stagnant.
Your odds of getting past the first 10 seconds of interaction increase dramatically when you start with an open-ended question.
So what is an open-ended question? It is a question that cannot be answered with simple “yes”, “no.” They require a more detailed answer.
Below are some examples of questions that are not open-ended. These questions can be answered with just one word and the kind you should avoid asking the first time you speak to a girl you like.
• How are you today?
• Do you need any help with that?
• Can I help you find anything?
• Do you come here often?
So what’s the problem with this type of closed question? In reality, nothing. The above examples are okay forms of interaction with girls. But you want more than just a basic interaction – you want a conversation.
The point is to get the girl you like to open up a little bit
Open-ended questions are great at getting girls to open up. They allow you to keep the conversation flowing.
And the best part? You can come up with your own question to fit the occasion.
For example, if you see a girl at the gym you might ask, “How do you like working out here?” But if you’re at the grocery store you might say, “I’ve never tried that fruit before, how does it taste?” I’ll give you some more examples at the end of the article to help get you started.
Now this isn’t to say you should put off close-ended questions completely. They come in handy once you find yourself conversing with a girl. Like when you ask her name (which is something you’ll hopefully ask at SOME point). You may ask a girl, “Do you like the band?” and end up sharing reasons why the concert you are at is completely awesome.
Remember, first impressions are everything, so try to have an open-ended question ready to make YOUR first impression. I’ll share some examples of open-ended questions in a later post, so be sure to check back soon.
We’d like to hear from you. Ask questions or suggest your recommendations for open-ended questions with the rest of the AoG community in the comments below. Well, don’t hesitate. Get to it!
Shy to Talk, a fan of AdviceOnGirls.com
Jose
12. May, 2010
Hey bro whats up , your advices are very helpfull , i need a help with one thing i have the confidence to like talk to girls like i do it but i dont have the ideas to like make a conversation to let them know that i lke them or to let her knw that i want to kiss her without askin for it. or just to have that conversation to get them into wanted to kiss or something
it would very helpfull if u help me with that thanks , hope your reply soon THANKS
Kennedy
14. May, 2010
@ Jose
Sounds like you’re most of the way there, man! You just need to know when the time is right to get in there for a kiss. Don’t even bother asking for a kiss. When the time is right, and you are both feelin’ it, then you should just lean in and make it happen. Good luck!
Josh
19. May, 2010
Yeah man i like this for real but i got another type of question…….so my girlfriend and me really like each other we talk to each other EVERYDAY on facebook and on the phone sometimes. Now what i want to know is she had indicated to me that she wants to have sex but i just don’t know how to do it the right way with her. She isn’t like other girls and i need to make sure that i approach her the correct way about this so she doesn’t feel uncomfortable at the end of the day……HELP ME OUT!!!
Kennedy
21. May, 2010
@ Josh
Not gonna lie to ya – we don’t do sex advice in these parts. But I’ll throw you a bone here – if you’re only talking to her on facebook the majority of the time, then I would probably look at talking to her more face-to-face before I considered any big relationship decisions going forward…
i have this friend i like and when we are on the phone there is jus nothing to tlk about
23. May, 2010
I have this friend i like but when we are on the Phone there is nuffn to tlk about its always silient
JOHNY
27. May, 2010
hey thnx to whoever has written dis,atleast it boost up my confidence nd nw i can approach her much more confidently……. bt i need sum help, i go to guitar classes and there a girl is also coming who started her classes right with me, we had our first clas together, but i am not gettin how to approach her,how to ask her number and when,how to ask her for some hang-outs nd when …… actually my school was not co-ed and i really don have ne idea how to talk to a girl,my frnds say i am shy and i admit it…… but i don want to loose dis girl already i’ve missed many opportunities……. please guide me,thnx hope u reply soon…………….
Aj
14. Jun, 2010
hey bro they were pretty cool but i had a doubt………….. i mean u knw like when u go upto the girl u like n u really dont knw any thing about her, n u start the conversation. it may not always b a welcome conversation right? i mean what if the girl is shy?????????
Aj
14. Jun, 2010
girls can be shy, cant they……….. and i am from India so u knw the girls in here, most of them r shy…………… I guess
paul
21. Jul, 2010
hey Kenny, look i really like this girl that lives near enough to me and is in my school, but i havent the slighest clue what to do , im not sure whether she likes me or not , she smiles and says hello if we met in corrodor on the way to classes but i dont know if she likes me. id be happy enough for now if i knew she liked me
but i havent the courage really to do anything 
Michael
21. Jul, 2010
Hi Paul,
Just start by asking her how her day is going the next time you see her in the corridor. When she says “hi” you say “hey, how’s your day going?” it really is as simple as that.
The best way to find out if she likes you is to get to know her better. And you can only do that by talking to her more.
Good luck Paul!
daniel
27. Jul, 2010
i kno im shy but i can get over that im 18 i just dont kno how to start a damn conversation. i get nervous and dont say anything
Charle
27. Jul, 2010
Hello again. It’s me. Back for more advice! Ok, this fall semester, I’m rooming with my brother’s best friend and his cousin, which happens to be a girl. Now before I try anything, my question is this, if conditions are favorable(meaning she’s within my age range, tolerable to be around, and single) what would be the best approach to handle this situation? I don’t want anything to develop into something supremely weird because I’ll be living in the same house with her for the next 3-4 months before she moves out!
Rob
31. Jul, 2010
Good advice but I’m just wondering if it means anything if a girl starts asking you these type of questions? I was in the store one time last month buying energy drink so I can make it through the night, work 3rd shift, and the girl at the checkout asked me about the energy drink and what I thought about it. Convo kinda ended there because it was the first time I was buying that brand.
RAZOR
06. Sep, 2010
So I like this girl at school. I carpool with her parents and her sister every other day, and then on the others with my mom and her and her sister. Her locker is next to mine. She lives three houses down from me. She is really, really shy. In the carpools it is really akward because I never directly to to her, and she doesn’t to me. How can I get her talking? Also, one of my friends has a thing with one of her friends and my other friend also has a thing with her friend. So I find myself wnear ALOT. Some people consider me a nerd too, which is strange because a play baseball really well. When I’m around her I tend to do dumb things and when I tell jokes when she is within earshot I mess up:( Also, my mom doesn’t help in the carpools either. I know this is long but I need help.
RAZOR
08. Sep, 2010
Basically, I just need help on what to say in the carpools.
shawn
13. Oct, 2010
what are some good thing to say to a girl u no and like but she doesnt no u that well (or what are some things to do like wave or something)
zack
24. Oct, 2010
ok so ii have a girlfriend already but other girls kep ‘hittin’ on me and i kan get them to stop it when im around her so i get kinda rude with them to kind of makesure im not playing around and when my girlfriend heres she gets kinda mad coz she thinks ima be like that to her please help!!!!
Charle
25. Oct, 2010
Hey everyone. Need help again, but doubtful I’ll get a quick response. Ok, I’m about to launch my final assault and ask this girl(I’ve liked for a good year and a half now) for her number. We’ve known each other from classes, talked here and there about stuff, and she’s even agreed to hang out with me(sometime in the future…) but I can’t seal the deal. I fear rejection so much I am on the verge of bailing completely and just focusing on other things. My question is should I carry out my plan or just bail before it gets worse? I more than likely will be rejected(like I have been in the past) but giving it a shot won’t hurt(at least I tell myself that)
Shivaksha
01. Nov, 2010
my biggest prob is that im very shy and i get nervous esp when talking 2 a pretty girl !!! how to overcome ?
Jordi
02. Nov, 2010
Hi Charle. Most girls like self-confident social guys. you should just tell her you’re going out with your friends, it doesnt really matter where to, but pubs or clubs are the most common place to take girls, so tell her you’re going to some cool club and ask her if she wants to join you guys.
if she says yes, ask right away for her number. it’s actually easy, just say, “ok, give me your phone number and i’ll call you”. simple.
on the other hand, if she doesn’t accept or hesitates just keep it cool, she might be testing you.
Slik
11. Nov, 2010
I dn’t knw how to start a conversation with a girl that’s walking on the road.
Plz teach me how.
Jordi
13. Nov, 2010
Slik that’s easier than most guys think. watch some paul janka’s videos on youtube and you’ll learn. Although… most girls hate him, so dont tell any girl you’re using his methods.
hisham
10. Dec, 2010
im 15 and she is 13 we meet every day at the bus stop to go to school so what can i ask her or do with her? can u give me examples of these questions
Cris
14. Dec, 2010
Hey, I’ve gotta a situation here. Ok, so I go home on a bus, and there is this girl that always sits around me. Today, she even sat right next to me because it was around her friends, which are my friends too sorta. So we talked a little in between the conversation with our friends and she somehow brought up that these friends were annoying, but I’m quieter and she likes me better..but she said it to her friends. I think she is interested in me, but I don’t know how to keep her genuinely interested in a conversation with me, and I am really sick of being thought of as quiet. Can you please tell me how to keep a conversation where she will talk to me? I know that she will just love me if I talk to her more. the friends we sit next to make her laugh mire than I do, so I always feel like I’m going to say something really stupid and she will think I’m stupid. My first impression was kinda rough, but I think I can make it work if I can talk to her more andale her open up to me.
Any help is appreciated and I am really thankful that you guys help!
Alex T
16. Dec, 2010
Hey man still need help i never have the courage to talk to her . It’s very frustrating and I’m in 4th grade so i don’t wanna look like a creep we only have one class together!!! Please reaspond back at alexThoms73@yahoo.com
Charle
16. Dec, 2010
Ok so I still need help. The girl that I have been trying to talk to all semester has been throwing me in a complete loop all this time. I’ve sent her many messages on facebook(waiting after 2 weeks at least for each one) for her to meet up with me, but she never responds. I know it’s weird for me to do this, but I absolutely hate when people don’t blatantly tell you they don’t want to talk to you. It’s weird because she agreed to hang out with me, but when I try to talk to her on the interwebs, she completely ignores.She talks to me in real life, when we still had drawing II together, but beyond that, nothing else. What am I doing wrong? And if she doesn’t like me, why doesn’t she just tell me instead of torturing me, letting me try to figure out on my own? Please help if you can.
Alex T
16. Dec, 2010
Hey Chris I know what ya mean here’s what I would do.
First try telling some jokes talking more then if she starts to think ur annoying only talk ocassionly then make your move on the bus ask her if she would like to come to a place after school at place were there isn’t that many people and you no your parents will let you go and be certain. If she says yes then your in the zone and don’t screw up.
Enjoy Alex T
Greg
31. Dec, 2010
Ok…there’s a girl at my school I like and I have a couple classes with her a day. And we talk sometimes and text every once In a while. The other day I finally got the courage to let her know how I feel. I don’t know if that was a bad move or what… She didn’t really say much. Just wondering if anyone has some advice
Dsquare
16. Jan, 2011
There’s dis gal i met on facebk. I collected nd i have been calling her atleast twice a day. Whenever i talk to her on phone, i normally get stalled not knowing what to say next. Pls help.
Dsquare
16. Jan, 2011
There’s dis gal i met on facebk. I collected her number nd i have been calling her atleast twice a day. Whenever i talk to her on phone, i normally get stalled not knowing what to say next. Pls help.
viperxix
22. Mar, 2011
thx for the advice, but i still got a problem. I really like this girl but she has a identical twin sister that my best friend really likes, and since they always sit together I’m
a) troubled to get into a conversation with both of them around
b) too shy to talk to them when my friend( who comes everyday) comes in.
PLEASE HELP
Viperxix
22. Mar, 2011
I forgot to mention that while im *pretty* good at starting conversations, I always feel afraid that I will appear boring and promptly clamp shut and feel awful because even if i don’t say anything i will still appear boring. hope you can hlp
Michael
23. Mar, 2011
Viper,
All you need to do is relax a little. Don’t worry so much about trying to be entertaining. Just find out what they like to do. What are they interested in? When you find that out just center the conversation around that topic.
You can do it man!
hey
03. Apr, 2011
i needed some help with this i was going to ask a girl to a baseball game but i didnt want it to be awkward if she says no should i just go ahead and ask?
Roudy
04. Apr, 2011
Hi, i liked your article. But i think it’s missing something.
Boys are looking for general open-ended questions.
I see you only gave 2 examples.
I want to know if is there any article about general open-ended
questions ?
Ashish
06. Apr, 2011
i like a girl bt she study in 12 class and i am the passout student bt i love and like that girl so much what should i do pls help
sLeepy
18. Apr, 2011
I know this girl and I like her but we’ve kinda grown apart bc she had feelings for another guy and then kinda just pushed me out of the picture but later she apoligized for treating me wrong, I see this girl often at school throughout the week and i havent talked to her for about 4 weeks bc i just feel like space is best for me and her right now at this moment.. but she has bee staring at me alot lately ( like those long stares not glances lol ) well im just puzzled on what to do bc honestly when she could of had me she just made me a option when she prolly should of made me a priority.. Idk what to do.. I mean i feel like movin on but then again i still like her so Please this is my SOS Help Me!!!
someone
23. Apr, 2011
Can you give me your advice on this situation.
I meet this girl few days ago. I was walking down the hallway and there she was, so I said “Hi, what’s your name” and she smiled and replied. Had a small talk and at the and she said bye. Bye as in I don’t want to see you again or as in see you later. Hopefully the second one. Few days later when I’ve seen her she was with her friends on the hallway and I’ve seen her, was going to say hi but I didn’t want to interrupt the conversation so I just kept walking. She didn’t say anything either, like she didn’t see me
. Do girls often ignore guys they like, or is this like a test to see if he’s going to come around and talk to me again.
zack
23. Apr, 2011
hey i like a lot of the advice you guys give! but unfortunatly i still have some problems! when i talk to girls idk of a lot of things to talk about.. mainly things to say to try and get girls to like me. it also doesnt help that im only 5’5 5’6… so im also at a disadvantage to other guys.. i need some help as of what to say and what girls like to talk about.
thanks
Charbel
24. Apr, 2011
i have a crush on a girl but I’m to shy to tell her that i have feelings towards her.the weird thing is that we’re like always following each other.i don’t know why.Everytime i look at her she smiles.is that a sign
Diamond
02. May, 2011
@Michael or @ Whom ever it may concern: I think you guys should put up a thread about how to text a girl the right way.. Or start putting up some new stuff bc I think that would be really helpful to some that are needing help in that area.. Please respond ASAP..Sincerly, Diamond
Richie
08. May, 2011
hi guys i have being meeting this girl all day and i do not know how to talk to her and tell her about my feelings for her. So i always give an excuse and leave her…
Todd
22. May, 2011
I’ve recently started talking to a girl that i dated 2 years ago for about a year, it was serious, it was love. but i missed up bad and we went our separate ways but we always kept in contact over the phone and internet because we go to different ; then we would start liking each other once again but i’m afraid to meet up with her in person because its such a long time but I’ve dreamed of this moment for a long time. PLZ HELP!
Name (required)
03. Jun, 2011
@Todd
I say go for it, the worst thing that can happen is that you stay in the same state that you currently are with her. But the possibilities of you hitting it off are amazing. just remember to relax and do your best.
Name (required)
03. Jun, 2011
@Todd
I say go for it, the worst thing that can happen is that you stay in the same state that you currently are with her. But the possibilities of you hitting it off are amazing. just remember to relax and do your best.
Troy
08. Jun, 2011
thnx for your help and i mean it……like the others even i need some personal advice…….ive known this girl for a long time and we’re great friends but i’ve started falling for her during the past year…..the problem is that she is in a relationship and her boyfriend is a good pal…..we don’t talk much lately and she seems quite happy……i dont know what to do….Please help!!!!
WWE fan
16. Jun, 2011
hey, I asked a girl out and she said she wasen`t ready to date. Did she turn me down or should I try again?
Sven555
17. Jun, 2011
hey , i dont know if i am wrong or right but i need an advise .
i started to be careless with the girl i like and i am not try to call here or asking for her ,i am just allways see here in school . i wanna know if i am wrong what i should do ??
Jack
20. Jun, 2011
Ok I haven’t ever talked 2 this girl but I think she is very pretty and the only way I really talk 2 her is through facebook please help:/
John
20. Jun, 2011
@Troy
I’m sorda in the same situation u r In and and I hav been in this situatian lots of times and wat I usually do is wait until they break up which I guarantee will happen and then talk to her and ask her out go for it man