I’m unpopular with girls in my school
Posted on 16. Mar, 2009 by Michael in Increase Your Confidence, Relationship Advice
Aidan needs advice about girls in his school. He also needs a shot of self-esteem. A lot of us guys have been in similar situations before. Read Aidan’s question and offer your advice to help him out!
Reader Question:
Dear Advice On Girls,
I really like this girl, I’ve liked her for about 6 months now. I’m quite unpopular with the girls at my school and all of the attractive girls seem to be kind of embarrassed to be seen with me. This one girl was from a different school though. She and I became really really close – we kised once on the lips in a game of truth or dare. I asked her out and she said I think we should leave it for awhile saying, “I’m not really over my old boyfriend.” Then she met this guy and within two weeks of meeting him they started dating.
Her new boyfriend started rubbing it in and being really harsh to me. Then everyone told her he was rubbing it in and she broke off all connections with him and said she was really sorry and that she didn’t know he was like that.
Now she’s saying to all my friends that I dont have a chance and she’s trying to distance herself from me to try and get me over her. My bands doing a gig and shes going, I was thinking if the gig went well then maybe I could ask for a word afterwards. Would that work? I would like to become quite close with her again but I don’t really know how. I just really need help. What do I do? I’ve never really liked anyone near as much as I like her. I’m really scared I’ve mucked it up – 6 months of being her best friend followed by rejection. Is there any hope?
Our Answer:
Hi Aidan,
I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I know you must feel hurt and for that I am truly sorry.
If she has told your friends that she isn’t interested, that’s a clear sign that you should move on. I know you like her a lot but, for your own good, you need to let go of this crush.
Also, I would not pull her aside after the concert. That might make the situation more uncomfortable. Just let things play out naturally. Don’t feel like you have to save the friendship. Things between you and her will return to normal with time. I know it’s hard but you just have to be patient.
There will be other girls that you feel just as strongly for. And they’ll feel just as strongly for you. In the long run, it doesn’t matter if you’re unpopular. These high school clicks will end when you graduate and go to college. You’ll be able to meet more people who think like you and will accept you for who you are.
You also mention that you are “unattractive.” Sounds to me like you need to boost you confidence. But, for the sake of argument, let’s assume you are not the best looking guy around. It really doesn’t matter that much. In college, I’ve seen some really unattractive and overweight guys date really hot girls. These hot girls date these guy because of their fun personalities and sense of humor.
So to sum up, let go of your crush on this girl. There will be others. And don’t sell yourself short. Hold your head up high man. You have a lot to be proud and confident about! Don’t let anyone tell you different.
Best of luck Aidan!
Shy to Talk, a fan of AdviceOnGirls.com
lyster.ningamn.drew@gmail.com
10. Aug, 2010
k i like this girl but im way way to shy to ask her out she was at my place with 4h a long time ago but we arent even friends like we dont not like each other but… help
lolyouguysarekillingme.
16. Aug, 2010
If she’s at your place for four hours, just wait for her to turn on a tv or listening to music, walk in and be like “omg I love this one, mind if I have a seat?” Then you got 3hours to break her down with jokes, and your ever so wonderful personality;)
Nathan
28. Sep, 2010
Hey, I’ve liked this girl for 3 years now and I really feel strongly for her and infact i’d take a bullet for her any day, were really close friends and i plucked up the courage to ask her out and she said it would only ruin our friendship and that she wouldn’t wana see me get hurt, what the he’ll do I do I’ve tried pretty much every thing :S
Nathan
28. Nov, 2010
OK so I’ve met this girl about two weeks before school started and I’ve had a crush on her since then shes smart, pretty, and shes one of those girls that there’s something about her you are just automatically attracted to her and i’ve tried to talk to her and SOMETIMES we can have a 10 sec chat (about somthing really random) but other than that we almost never talk and i just have no clue wat to do i want to a least get her to notice me but i helpless around her! HELP!!!
Francis
25. Feb, 2011
I was in our position too but the easiest thing to do is talk to her ask her how she’s been and just strike up a conversation small talk is good listen to what she says and pay attention compliment her tell her her hair is nice today don’t be a jerk and just try to get to know hher than after that the best thing is to just ask her out if she says no it’s not a big deal just say ok but try to stay trends it worked for me
Jake
08. Mar, 2011
Hey guys,
Now first off, I want you guys to know that i think what you guys do is really great and you do a great job at it. I have gotten so much advice from this one site its not even funny. But I have a problem:
I REALLY like this girl. We started talking in 6th grade, and then it was “the friend zone” from there to last summer. Then we really started talking and flirting. Anyway now we’re in 8th and she’s moving at the end of the year!
When we first started talking, I was really nerdy and shy, I’ll admit it. I was pretty unpopular with everyone in my class, and she was no exception. Now I feel much more confident and I’m somewhere in the middle as far as the social ladder goes. I have a lot of friends and several best friends, but a lot of people still don’t like me. She thinks I’m really cool, but almost all her friends either straight-up hate me or don’t like me and make a joke about it. We were pretty tight at the beggining of the year, and i think she liked me. But we’ve gradually been growing apart and we only got close again when she told me she was moving.
Is there any way I can convince her that her friends are wrong about me? I feel much more confident about myself now. I’m in sports, but not basketball like she favors. We’ve flirted before and she thinks I’m really sweet with it. Let’s just say I’ve made her day more than once. She’s into basketball, and I don’t have ANY skill for that. But I am athletic. I run track and I guess you could say I’m fairly strong, which is something she favors in guys.
Is there anyway I can heat up our friendship onto being more than just friends?
Thanks,
A Really Desperate Guy
MATO
10. Mar, 2011
i need some advice with girls .shore she likes me but i cant ask her out. what should i do???!!!
MATO
10. Mar, 2011
and their is nthis this other problem almost all guys like her! and she is always hanging out with other girls !how can i get close to her?
Michael
16. Mar, 2011
@ Jake
That’s a tuff situation. A girl’s friends and their opinions are very important to them. My best advice is to try and win over some of her friends. Show them the awesome side that you’ve shown her. Just start small with one of her friends. Remember you don’t have to make her into your best friend. Just get her to like you enough so that the girl you’re interested in notices.
But don’t try to change who you are to do this. You’re a special person. If this girl can’t see past her friends to see that, then it’s her loss.
Good luck Jake!
Viperxix
23. Mar, 2011
hello AoG community
I would just like to say that all your advice, especially Kennedy and Michael’s, has not only helped me get on better with girls, but also helped me be a generally better, confident, outgoing person. thank you all
Michael
24. Mar, 2011
You’re welcome Viper!
Please help spread the word about AoG! Tell your friends or post about us on any forums you visit. We’d love to see this community grow!
Rafael
11. Apr, 2011
HI this is rafael, i just dont know how to act around, girls, so many i have lost , just because i have no idea what to say anymre , jus like hii!, but how do i keep it going, my memory jus locks down, for a topic, to discuss, so many people already knw me as the quite type, in class ive been set away from friends , so i have to make new 1s, im jus losing who i am
… , how do i become social with girls
joshian
20. Apr, 2011
hi AOG community,
im joshian and i like this girl and ive always seen her at school and i add her on fb..i add her coz i want to talk to her and maybe give a chance what i felt about her….but suddenly i dont even know that she has a boyfriend…..and that makes me feel wreck in a thousand pieces, and im planning to seduce her by showing all my skills be popular at school…i can do all thing just to …have her..just to love me that girl was so unpredictable..she has a face of an innocent young pretty girl that i fall in ……but his personality was so very away at what i see at her……. just guys wish me luck
mike
25. Apr, 2011
I have been texting this girl for almost 2 months and she just got moved into my class right next to me but we texted so often theres nothing really left to talk about so I haven’t said anything to her yet but I feel like a jerk not talking to her in person I was just wondering if you guys had any advice for me please?
Ethan
17. May, 2011
@mike
You’ve been texting her for two whole months and you don’t speak face to face? No offense, but that just seems kinda rude. So yeah I’d definitely talk to her face to face if I had any interest at all in starting some form of formal relationship with her, otherwise she probably won’t talk or text you anymore.
Ryan
23. May, 2011
So me and this girl have been best friends for 3 years now and just the other day i told her i had feelings for her. Now i dont know what to do, should i say something to her, or just wait and see if she says something to me (she probably wont because it would be easier not to). What can i do?
kyle
01. Jun, 2011
hey guys i need help despretly!
well ok basicly all the girls in my school dont talk to me ive got an ugly face and ive never had a girlfriend ive tried everything but nothing works tell me how to get someone to like me please answer as quicky as u can.
Michael
01. Jul, 2011
@ Kyle
Hear me out. Chances good that you are your worst critic. By that I simply mean, you are probably not as unattractive as you fear yourself to be. But for the sake of argument, let’s assume that what you say is true. Even so, girls can still be attracted to you. Just focus on being an interesting and fun guy. Pick up a couple of interesting hobbies. Learn to be more social and funny.
Trust me. I know many ugly or overweight guys who have really hot girlfriends. How do they get them? They’re interesting and funny.
Good luck Kyle!
Danny97
08. Jul, 2011
@ Michael.
Hi Michael, this girl that like me says that girls who like you love it when you wink at them. If they don’t they will look at you as if you are a bit of a weird-o. Do you think this would be a good trick to test if a girl likes you? lol
Mysyerious
17. Aug, 2011
Hi i am realy unpopular at my school infact no one likes me no matter what school somthing always ahppens and suddenly no one likes me like the school now everyone liked me and now they bully me all the time but there is a girl i like but if i ever said anything to her everyone would laugh at me and torment me if she said yes tey would do the same not as bad but if she said no im doomed and aswell as that im super shy
please give me advice
Johhny
14. Apr, 2012
I had a girlfriend lay year and we just stopped talkin in the summer I never saw her so we broke up..then we started talkin agin this year and I love her so much I fell for her even harder and I don’t know wat to do..we r goin to different highschools next year and I just don’t wanna lose her..Any advice?
Alex
16. Apr, 2012
Well if u and her wont see each other much because you dont go to the same highschool anymore, then it will not work out, unless u live near her.
Chris
30. Apr, 2012
hey everyone, i like this girl at school and she knows i like her we went to the cinema with a group of friends but it got kinda awkward. my mate is wuite good friends with her and she told him that she doesnt really want a relationship yet (not specificaly me but just genraly) i think we are going to the cinema bur theres 4 of us going and im not sure what to do or say Help!