Advice on Girls

44 Responses to “I’m unpopular with girls in my school”

1. 

   Lance
   

   16. Mar, 2009

   Ouch that hurts. I wouldn’t pursue this any more. I tried with one of my female friends. I wouldn’t let it go and I hurt the friendship badly.
2. 

   Barrett
   

   16. Mar, 2009

   I wasn’t very popular in high school either. But things did turn around for me when I went to college. There’s no reason why it shouldn’t be the same for you too.
3. 

   Kyle
   

   06. Apr, 2009

   Well I actually just found this website last night but inspired me somehow to ask out one of my friends. And I thought Id share my story since no one else seems to have a success story where its actually worked out with a close friend. So heres how it goes.

   I met this girl a t the beginning of the year and didnt really pay attention to her that much. But after about a month I really started to like her and on the day I was going to ask her out, she walks up to our group and says she was just asked out by another guy(I also happen to know the guy). I was in complete awe, i didnt even think something like this could happen. So I tell her congrats and what not, and for the next four months I watch these two go out. It is also during this time that me and her get to be really good friends. It turns out me and her have a lot in common and that we even think the same way. So we talk a lot and become really close friends and she told me several times that I was her best “guy” friend. So by the time these two break up (which was like 2 months ago) me and her, like I said, good friends. So I ask her to go to the movies with me a couple of times by ourselves and a couple of times with friends. And by this time it is already 4-3-09. And I really want to ask her out, but i was kinda of nervous to do it because i was worried she only saw me as a friend and nothing else. So on 4-3-09 me and her go to a fair. That was supposed to be the day I asked her out, but lets just say things didnt go as well as I wanted them to. So I talked to one of my good friends about my situation and as it turns out hes pretty knowlegeable about this kinda of stuff. And he gives me some advice and even gives me a way to start to ask her out. So monday comes around and I ask her to get a coke with me but when the time comes to do it there are people around and im to nervous, so another chance wasted and were still just friends. We leave lunch and I got to my last class for the day, its here that I talk to the same friend who gave me the advice. He started saying that he knew I wouldnt do it and this kinda pissed me off. But it made me realize that if i didnt do it today then I wouldnt ever do it and i would spend who knows how long wondering “What if…” So after the bell rings I wait for her outside like I always do and start to tell her that i had been meaning to tell her something. You also have to remember that she is first load so I have a less than a minute time frame to do this. And I say a few other things and ask her if she would be interested in being my girlfriend. And she said yes! I asked her if that was sarcasm and if she was just playing with me and she said no. I couldnt believe it, so I then asked her if she really meant it and she said yes. by this point we have arrived at her bus and we hug and she tells me to text her. and the rest is pretty much history.

   So the point of this story is that you shouldnt be afraid to ask a girl out even if she is a close friend. Becasuse you might be pleaseantly suprised at what the answer is.
4. 

   Kyle
   

   06. Apr, 2009

   Im a sophmore in high school by the way. ^^
5. 

   Michael
   

   06. Apr, 2009

   @ Kyle
   You’re exactly right! Many times guys and girls who are best friends really do like each other, they’re just too afraid to say something. They’re afraid they might ruin the friendship. But a lot of times they make great couples.
   Good job Kyle! I hope your story will inspire the rest of the AdviceOnGirls.com community!
6. 

   Nate
   

   02. May, 2009

   Dude, your in a position where the girls are just that GIRLS, they are generally not mature enough to aviod peer pressure. My advice is to be cool, if she just wants to be friends accept it and maybe one day the opportunity you want will come. If she tries to avoid you, forget about it and move on, whatever you do don’t compromise yourself and try to change into something that others find acceptable. However if your hell bent on getting this girl here is what you do; find some way that you can meet girls from another school, ones that don’t already have an opinion of you built up in their head. When you start dating one of these girls you will instantly become more attractive and interesting to other girls. Find a way(not an obvious way) to show this girl off to the girls at your school. Oh yeah make sure this girl is attractive or at least decent looking or this won’t work.
7. 

   Michael
   

   02. May, 2009

   @ Nate
   I see where you’re going with your comment and to an extent I understand. But I do want to make one thing clear to our community. No guy, or anyone for that matter, should ever “use” a girl just to make others jealous.
   By use, I mean you shouldn’t date one girl just to simply try to get a date with another girl. This isn’t fair to the girl being used. Also, word can get around that you’re a jerk.
   It’s totally cool to date other girls. But don’t simply use another girl. There’s a big difference.
8. 

   Rachel
   

   14. May, 2009

   My boyfriend had me look at this site to see if any of the advice is true about girls. Most of this stuff seems to be pretty on target.

   Here’s my advice for all guys: Girls really have no idea what the hell we want. We are just as confused about guys as they are about us. Whether a girl will like you or not usually just depends on her personal preferences. I like a funny guy that :

   A) I can hang out with (being friends with a is an important part of the romantic relationship to me)

   B) is sweet but not totally whipped. (And polite to my parents)

   C) cares about me and respects me.

   D) looks do matter some of course- but if you are good with A, B, and C, you can get along just fine without good looks.
9. 

   Michael
   

   15. May, 2009

   @ Rachel
   Thanks for visiting and the advice. We appreciate it!
10. 

    Kennedy
    

    26. May, 2009

    Awesome insight, Rachel. We always love it when the ladies drop in!
11. 

    nathaniel
    

    03. Jun, 2009

    man i’ve liked this girl 4 a year now but i can’t get her 2 talk 2 me but now i’m pissed b-cause she started dating this popular kid but i think he’s dating another girl but whenever i tell her that she just calls me a name but i don’t get it cause she used 2 talk 2 me a lot please reply
12. 

    Nate
    

    03. Jun, 2009

    @Nathaniel, first you should always be positive before you tell anyone that someone they’re dating is dating someone else. Second, you care about this girl and you already told her what is going on, you’ve done your part let her figure out for herself what this guy is. If you keep at it about this subject and she hasn’t been receptive to it you’re only pushing her further away, at some point she might come to you and inquire further, she might not. My advice is to mend the friendship brigde avoid the subject of this other guy like the plague and be patient. In my experience the truth has a way of finding it’s way out, and it appears she would rather have the truth find her than the other way around.
    Good Luck dude.
13. 

    Kennedy
    

    03. Jun, 2009

    @ nathaniel

    There’s a common saying for these situations: “Shoot the messenger”. Be careful about inserting yourself into scenarios in which you aren’t involved. You can seem shallow by spreading (in her eyes) rumors about her boyfriend. If you’re really into her, then patience is the key. Be friendly and approachable, and if she ends up being hurt by this guy, make sure she knows she can come to you if she needs anything.
    As mentioned above, anything more than that and you risk looking pushy and driving her away.
14. 

    imsad
    

    28. Jun, 2009

    dude ur even lucky u have girls in ur school. i go to an all guys school. lol.
15. 

    joemilburn
    

    21. Jul, 2009

    ive known this girll for a very long time now and we get on with eachothrer so well and have good long chats. aroundd november i really started too like herr andd she told me she had feelings for me in late december unfortunately during january and february i wass ill so i was unable to meet her during that time. After this i tried on several occasions to meet her but she said she was busy. Then she changed and i didnt speak to her as much as we use to. Her friend then told me that Amy just wanted to be friends as i was “too nice”. This made me stop speaking to her for a month or so. I recently started talking to her after several apoligise and decided to invite her to my birthday. She said she will be able to go. So i told her were to meet me and what time . On the morning of my birthday I rang her to see if she was still coming. She never answered her phone so i text her asking if she can tell me if she is coming or not asap. She then told me she was grounded and her mum will be taking her phone away. So my bday plans were ruined as she left it so late to tell me and i canceled the meal i had prebooked. Im not sure what i should do any advice will be helpful
16. 

    girls
    

    21. Jul, 2009

    i have this school problem also. Even though im pretty popular it just seems like i cant get as many girls as some as my other guy friends. and it just seems to happen within my school. Like ill go visit a college campus and be able to get like 3 girls at once but then ill go back to my school and will only get one chicks number the whole year same thing with when i go out and i meet a girl over a friends house. I have no clue what i am doing wrong. Maybe the girls are more mature that i talk to at college? btw im a senior in hs. It just seems like i can get girls outside of my school way easier than inside of it. please explain why lol if u can.
17. 

    Kennedy
    

    21. Jul, 2009

    @joemilburn

    Tough break. I hope that you are all better, though. Sounds like it might be time to give this girl some space. After a while, see if she’s interested in starting something up again. It’s going to be tough at first, but you’ll be stronger for it in the end…
18. 

    Kennedy
    

    21. Jul, 2009

    @girls

    Girls are different everywhere you go. But keep in mind, if you’re trying to pickup girls left and right, it could harm your reputation with the ladies in the end. Could be that you are not having success with ladies at your own school because they know your game. Be careful out there…
19. 

    Katie =]
    

    03. Aug, 2009

    ;(

    Thats a shame. I have to say though if she kissed you in that game then maybe something can work out. I’ve been dared to do that but I was too shy too kiss him. This obviously means that she isnt embaraced by you! Well good luck anyways!
20. 

    Wisconsinbigdog
    

    11. Aug, 2009

    I had the same problem with asking a friend out once…she was someone that I talked to regularly at work and on aim but I had never had the courage to ask her out…one day though she asked me to lunch, which surprised the hell out of me, and I said “I don’t know” because I couldn’t think normally, before I could correct myself and say yes she said “ok” and walked away. The next day she started going out with another guy at work, which kinds made me feel like crap…but after a few days time I was over wanting to date her and now she sings in the band my friend and i started and we are still good friends. Bottom line, if you haves girl as a true friend you’re in a good position already, but if it doesn’t work out between you do not let your feelings get in the way of being her friend or you’ll regret it.
21. 

    imran
    

    14. Sep, 2009

    hi this is imran i would like to know’on how you can impress a girl on first sight.
22. 

    imran
    

    14. Sep, 2009

    and as for aidian just be yourself dont go doing something wrong just chillout and ask her out for lunch.and second ask her come out movies the third is invite her to your home for dinner and carry on from there
23. 

    Michael
    

    14. Sep, 2009

    @ Irman
    Trying to impress a girl at first sight is very hard to do. You usually have to be incredibly hansom, funny or talented. That usually rules out your average guy (which is 90% of the population). Besides, relationships based on first sight attraction rarely last.
    I think your best bet is to form a relationship based on, well… a relationship. Don’t worry about needing to impress girls at first sight. Take the time to get to know them and for them to get to know you. You’ll be much happier in the end when a relationship blossoms over time.
24. 

    Gray
    

    21. Sep, 2009

    Ok. I have been liking this girl for like a year now and when I first walked into class last year she grinned at me. Throughout the year we were somewhat flirting with each other. We would glance at each other and we would often trade each other gum. However, I have always never had the balls to ask her out or for her cell number. We have each others myspaces and facebooks but we don’t really talk much on it. This year, our senior year, shes an office aide and when I found this out, I kept making excuses to go see her and even though we talked I still couldn’t bring myself to do it. She mentioned that she tends to be shy sometimes and even though I don’t have this problem with other girls, for some reason I get so nervous when it comes to her. Any advice would be very appreciated
25. 

    Kennedy
    

    21. Sep, 2009

    @ Gray

    This one is simple man - time to ask for that number. You’ve been doing a dance around this girl for a while now. Just catch up with her between classes one day and say, “Hey, can I call you this weekend?” It’s that simple. Take one deep breath right before you ask it. I bet you $10 she gives it to you. Wanna take that bet?
    That’s your AoG homework assignment this week: Have her phone number by Friday. Come back in here sometime next week and let us know how it went. You can do it!
26. 

    obladioblada
    

    27. Sep, 2009

    I’ll keep this brief. I was with this one girl, we went out once, it was fun and all that. Then she said she wanted to just be friends, so I said okay. Then she told my best friend she still liked me, and I was surprised. I told my friend that I just wanted to move on, cuz she was really causing me a lot of confusion. Then, a few days later, I started to have feelings for her again. I told a friend to tell her I did. Then she said to my friend that she never said she liked me again only that she just wanted to be friends. My friend definitely wouldn’t lie to me, he told me that she said she liked me again and I believe him.

    So then, i talked to her casually, just like friends, and she said stuff like “I don’t have a boyfriend” in a dissapointed tone, and “your’e so cool” and that stuff. Do you guys have any idea what the heck is going on here?
27. 

    michael
    

    29. Sep, 2009

    i’m only in 6th grade but i feel im in love. i see this girl. shes really pretty. but she thinks im some freak on a leash. that’s why i listen to emo songs now. sigh. any advice? reply at ms014029@yahoo.com
28. 

    jesse
    

    12. Oct, 2009

    DUDE of course if she is gonna sever ties with her boyfrend 4 u yes there is hope just keep her a friend a while longer then try to get closer not in her face close just ask more personal questions but BE WARNED : she might not answer all of them
    trust me I lost a dear friend to this matter
29. 

    Kennedy
    

    13. Oct, 2009

    @ obladioblada

    Girls are beautiful, yet terrifyingly complex, creatures. It sounds like she doesn’t really know what she wants, and she’s yanking your chain a little bit.
    Here’s my advice. Cut out the friend for a moment, go see her or give her a call. Tell her flat out that you have feelings for her, and you would like to see where it goes. If she turns you down, then move on. The back and forth is going to do nothing but wear both of you down, I assure you.
    Remember to take a deep breath - you can do it!
30. 

    RueKid
    

    15. Oct, 2009

    Hey , umm id like to thank kennedy for responding to my comment i thought there was no place to ask for advice
    and ill be asking for some more advice later
    Thanks
    Rue
31. 

    monster
    

    20. Oct, 2009

    Aidan

    that kind of happened to me

    my advice is to make sure you look “alright” make sure youre clean smell good well groomed dont look to goofy and dont wear your pants to high but not to low,,, girls dont like seeing your boxers or seeing you pants all up were you belly bottom is… after you get a decent name the girl would probably and hopefull give you more attention…dont be a sucker and just suck into the attention… give her less attention this would make HER a sucker for you attention (remember girls like attention)

    i was trying to get this girl for a long time but after awhile i just fixed myself up and didnt look to “weird” yeah i was called a nerd and i was proud of that cause im smart i call myself one…if someone calls you a geek say no im not its a nerd …(lol their would shut up fast) but anyway after i just didnt give this girl any attention (i mean none) didnt even speak she came to me begging to speak to me but i would just look at her for awhile look in her eyes then walk off or talk to someone else… i did this for about three weeks to…making her drop what she was doing and come to me but i didnt fall for it… then she tried to stop worrying about me…i waited about two more weeks then i spoke and when i spoke i got a kiss.

    P.S of course every other week ill give her a small SENTENCE then walk off (the sentence should make her think or make her feel good) and if thats you get contacts you have pretty cool eyes dude (no homo) girls love green eyes or blue
32. 

    Kennedy
    

    22. Oct, 2009

    @ RueKid

    I’m glad we could help! Feel free to drop in any time for advice. Good luck out there!
33. 

    goingnuts
    

    30. Oct, 2009

    I met a girl in gr. 9 and we became good friends and then I started to like her and i asked her out. To my suprise (she’s really popular and I’m really not so much) she said yes, but then got really nervous and backed off. Next thing I know I haven’t spoken or even seen her for two months (quite a feat considering that her locker was next to mine) and when I did finally talk to her it was really awkward. All gr. 10 I dated other girls, but now in gr. 11 what I saw in other girls that I liked was really however they were like this girl. I don’t want to be with any other girl than her, but we’re friends again and I don’t want it to become awkward again, except it is driving me nuts to like her and not say anything

    Any advice?
34. 

    HumanBong
    

    05. Nov, 2009

    Hi, I’m in yr 9, and i really like this girl. (obviously). And i Know that Love still has to kick in a bit, seeing as we are only in year 9 and not had any experience of it yet. Now She Is Apart of a popular Group, and I am apart of a Nerdy/Not-so-popular Group. Now it seams that peer pressure (if i asked her out) would mean she would say no(atleast i think lol). At the start of the year(i had just transferred schools), She was in most of my classes, and i really got to like her. I often found myself staring at her in class, and would realise what i was doing a few seconds too late. She Started to notice me staring at her, and then we started to stare at eat other a whole lot. Anyways, after about a moth i thought i better not stare at her so much(i still look at her a fair bit). its now been over six months and i don’t stare at her much anymore ( still like her) Anyways I seem to see her staring at me a fair bit, even though i stopped, Now i’m not sure if she likes me or not seeing as its all a strange rollercoaster ride with no end in sight.

    All Advice appreciated, and another thing: when is all the Peer Pressure crap gonna start wearing off as i think that’s whats stopping anything happening at The moment.

    I know its all a bit hard to understand but that’s whats happening :S
35. 

    Kieran ;)
    

    08. Dec, 2009

    Ryt guys , im in year 11 and i have just started to get to know this girl i met who was with one of my friends , my friend who is best friends with her said to me that she rewally thinks im fit and all this . . . every time i see her i say hi and sometimes have a chat on the way home from school ,but she seems to be abit cocky and dosnt take things seriously can anyone give me advice ?
36. 

    Kieran ;)
    

    08. Dec, 2009

    i mean like i have got to know her for nearly a month now and im not sure if she likes me or is just yanking my chain?
37. 

    Kieran ;)
    

    08. Dec, 2009

    also sorry about the third comment , i am meant to be one of the more ‘popular’ people in my year and alot of girls find me attractive but it seems this one girl makes me confused :S
38. 

    Robin
    

    17. Dec, 2009

    Well, I a homeschooler, but last year I went to a year of public school w/ my friends. I’ve lived in this town all my life, and know a lot of people here. I met a girl there, ended up becoming good friends with her, and then ended up liking her. I gave her a necklace and switched back to homeschooling for the next year and haven’t seen her since. We did, however, occasionally text each other for a while. One of my friends tends to talk to people a lot, and she eventually figured out I was into her. A few other things happened too. Latest update, she refused my friend request on fb. I’m pretty sure she hates me. I don’t really care whether she likes me or not, I would just like to keep being friends.
39. 

    Kayla
    

    02. Jan, 2010

    Dear robin if she did refuse ur request then u should give her somtime to think, show her ( and everryone so it doesn’t look like ur showing off) what a great guy u are, drop some off ur bad habits, like smoking or swearing . Try and be good person so she can dieicde weather or not she is interested in keeping the friendship or aquontinces-ship that u have,
    ps this is good advice for anyone,
40. 

    macdaddy
    

    11. Jan, 2010

    Yo aidan man u gotta just 4get about this girl for a while. Srsly dud if ul just ignor her for a while or mayb evn try dating sumbody els (if u can) she’ll get mor interestd. Also u gotta get sum confidence to dud. Go to the gym, play sports, do somethin ur proud of (other than band or drama or chess club) an I promise u she’ll strt talkin to you agen. An get contacts lol
41. 

    kevin
    

    18. Feb, 2010

    need some advice…. there is this girl and we used to be like best friends and at one point a couple well we broke up(i don’t even remember how) and now she is going out with a huge douche who is always wanting to start something with me and its gotten to the point were i can barely even talk to her and now she barely answers my texts and i see everything slipping away what should i do??
42. 

    Kennedy
    

    21. Feb, 2010

    @ kevin

    You have to remove yourself from this situation. If this other guy is being a big goober, and she’s not helping anything, then you should take time away from both of them and try to get on with your life. If she’s truly your friend and has your best interests at heart, then she will eventually see that at the very least she has lost a good friend - and she will do what is needed to fix that.
    In the meantime, you have to be the bigger person here. I know you can do it!
43. 

    RotomTheMotor
    

    27. Feb, 2010

    I beg to differ with the first comment. i have two groups of friends that i hang out with the guys and the girls. ive been with almost all the girls and i got a second chance with the one i REALLY Love. anyways after we broke up the first time we were still friends! now onto my question. i am a ladies man even though i may not look like it. but i really love the girl im with right now and im worried that if i kiss her too early shell freak out but i dont want to be too late. im friends with her best friend and her best friend told me she wants to be spontaneous. what should i do?
44. 

    Kennedy
    

    28. Feb, 2010

    @ RomtomTheMotor

    This is easy - kiss her!