5 Common Mistakes Guys Make When Talking to Girls
Posted on 02. Mar, 2009 by Michael in How to Talk to Girls, Increase Your Confidence
When you go up to a girl you like to start a conversation, you need all the help you can get. Typically there are 5 mistakes that most guys make that can decrease your chances of walking away with her number. They are:
1. Convincing yourself to not talk to her
Most people call this shyness. Don’t let shyness keep you from meeting an awesome girl. One moment of shyness can cost you weeks, months or even years of happiness.
2. Letting your nervousness show
Girls, typically, like guys who are confident. Sweating, stuttering and fidgeting during a conversation doesn’t exactly paint you as a confident guy. Sure, there are some girls who think nervousness can be cute. But by and large, they prefer confidence.
3. Asking for her number too early
One of the worst things you can do is to start the conversation like this, “Hi, I saw you from across the way and thought you were really attractive. Can I get your number?” She doesn’t know you. Why should she give you her number? For all she knows you can be a stalker. That’s why it’s important to have a good conversation with her before you ask her for her number. It gives her the chance to get to know that you’re an OK guy.
4. Coming on too strongly
One of the other worst things you can do is to start the conversation like this, “Hey, my name’s Tom. I saw you in my history class and I think you’re really hot! We should go out on a date. Come on, we’ll have fun!” Girls don’t like to feel like they’re being forced into a conversation, let alone a date.
5. Not knowing when to end the conversation
Even if your first conversation is going amazingly well, you never want to linger too long. Always leave the conversation with the girl wanting more. There’s no need to divulge all your funny stories or secrets right from the get go. How long should you talk with a girl? For a first time conversation a good rule of thumb is to stay under 45 minutes.
What do you guys think? Is there anything I left out? Please share your comments with us…
Shy to Talk, a fan of AdviceOnGirls.com
Birdstheword
08. Dec, 2009
Hi… there’s a girl I’m going out with at the moment that I don’t really like, how do I tell her I just want to be friends without just saying it or hurting her feelings? Tyvm
Supergirl52
11. Dec, 2009
HI! I’m a girl who’s comparing advice websites on guys to advice websites on girls. Just saying that everythings accurate from talking 2 us to mistakes in chatting. Keep up ur confidence guys, cuz this is good working info!
CyurusFamily
05. Jan, 2010
heya im a girl and i was board so i decided to see if this was right and it is guy try urr best to follow this and geeky nerdy ppl we can still like yuu just be normal yuu never know there will be a girl out there who will love everything about yuu
donwallbaby
07. Jan, 2010
i think 45 mins is way to long. 5-10 min is good then if you get her number then you can wprry about more convo.
wes
08. Jan, 2010
Type your comment here…my name i wes im 29 single have been 4 most of my life ive been looking for that special some one but i dont think im met to experience tru love i think im met to be alone u wanna coment on this pls do or u can even call or txt 417 349 0532
Michael
27. Jan, 2010
@ Wes
If you want to meet that special girl, you totally can do it. You just need to get proactive and get out there.
Start by buying a few books about dating. Don’t get any of that garbage about “hooking up” with girls at a club. Go for real relationship books written by experts. Stay away from the trash. One book I recommend is “Always talk to strangers.” You should be able to find it on Amazon.
Next, you should talk with a relationship/dating psychologist. Many psychologists are great at helping people overcome their own fears and doubts. They can even give you great tips about how to interact with people. Don’t be ashamed of seeing one. Many people go to psychologists all the time!
Hope that helps man!
Justin
28. Jan, 2010
This is a good article like the rest.
I’m starting to see a pattern,
And it’s made me come to realize:
Guys don’t have to be jerks to get girls.
They can be GOOD guys,
But treating a girl like a lady doesn’t mean being annoying.
That’s why they say good guys finish last, they don’t understand the supply and demand of attention,
And often smother girls.
Well, please keep giving advice to us.
Thanks guys =D
Ron
03. Feb, 2010
good article i found Just thought it might help someone else in the same way it helped me http://www.ehow.com/how_5917381_good-girl.html
Charle
10. Feb, 2010
@Michael Hey everyone. Got another problem. There’s a union at my college. Tons of hot chicks of all sorts hang out there. There was plenty of opportunity for me today to move in on. Problem is, I always talk myself out of it before I try anything. I don’t like the idea of changing myself to just attract girls. I would wish to be genuine, but this is hard to do. Please offer advice!
Paulinho
05. Mar, 2010
i just wanna know one thing: the name and a way to contact THE BEAUTIFUL ONE girl in the photo !
good article…
Flip
10. Mar, 2010
I just found this website and read through the articles connected to this one.
One more thing- thing of who you are, what you do, etc as your ‘ammunition’. Still can’t think of an opener, or follow on questions? Turn the tables around. Example- I’ve graduated college, I’m in the Army, I’ve been deployed to Iraq, and I’ve got a job. (Ok, so maybe walking up to her and saying “hey, are you an Iraq veteran?” probably isn’t the greatest thing in the world to do). You can always ask things like “so where do you go to school? Where do you work at? Where do you live?”
Those questions are great for me, personally, as I started my job four months ago, and there’s a cute girl that works on the other side of the building. On top of that, I’m moving from where I live now (yup, that’s another good topic..) to closer to my office. I’ve spent the last year taking care of my grandmother and since my family is moving her to Texas, I’m able to move forward with my life again, yadda yadda yadda.
You get my point. Take who you are and what you do (even if you mop the floors at McDonald’s, come up with funny anecdotes about it) and turn those into questions you want to ask her.
Even if you can’t think of ANYTHING to say and are stuck in an elevator with the girl you want to talk to you can say something like “even though we’re only going down two floors, wouldn’t it be nice to have some of that awesome music playing in the overhead speaker right now?” or “I know that phone is used for an emergency, but I’ve always wondered if you could order a pizza from it”
Seriously…there are LIMITLESS possibilities to say to girls (or even just random strangers) in pretty much any situation.
God speed, wayward travelers.
Charle
28. Mar, 2010
I think right now, my best option to meet girls is in my classes. There’s some sort of force to cause people to band together to tackle a ridiculously hard class, and this can work to my advantage. My only problem is that I either psych myself out of talking to a very pretty girl next to me or my suspicions lead me to believe the girl I want to talk to is always taken. It’s difficult to distinguish this, especially because there are thousands of hot girls here that are more than likely taken. Please offer help if you can!
Kevin
11. Apr, 2010
hey , there’s a girl i really like but she is shy and i don’t know how to approach her to get her number . would anybody be able to give me advice on this?
Charle
11. Apr, 2010
I like this really nice girl in my Marketing class. I sit quite adjacent to her frequently. The only problem is I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to carry on a conversation with her after class or before class about the work that we all have to do. Any advice on this?
Courtney
17. Apr, 2010
Hello
I am a girl like but I wrote this because I want you boys to look at my website with some advise on it thanks
here’s the link:
http://geraghty2010.weebly.com
thanks ‘x
Hope you email me my email is on the website.
But to answer your question…
Courtney
17. Apr, 2010
and charlie the answer to your question is on my website
http://geraghty2010.weebly.com
Courtney
17. Apr, 2010
Charlie is is on boys advise
Courtney
17. Apr, 2010
And all you other lads look at my website I will be happy to answer your quetion
Email Me !
Go on my website a look on advise
http://geraghty2010@weebly.com
Thanks Lads ‘x
Robert
25. Jun, 2010
Wow,this is helpful stuff! I have AHDH so i can be weird and soemtimes annoying at times,so that definatly doesnt help.
But this is good info! Im so sick of those crap books on how to get a hootie or whatever that is,those people treat dealing with girls like its a game,and thats what pisses them off alot.
Kennedy
13. Jul, 2010
@ Robert
Thanks! We wish you luck out there. Seems like you have the confidence to go really far!
Charle
15. Jul, 2010
Hello again. Need quick advice. Last school year, met an awesome girl, but didn’t get a real chance to get to know her better. This upcoming school year, there’s a slight chance I may run into her again. My ? is should I attempt to build upon this friendship I have with her or should I move on? She and I no longer live in the same dorm building(like we did last year) and part of me wants to move on, but the other part of me tells me to keep investing in her. Any advice or input would be appreciated!
Kennedy
16. Jul, 2010
@ Charle
Just make sure you are prepared if you run into her again. Tell her you two should get together sometime, and if she agrees, get her number. You don’t have to invest a lot of time in the “what-ifs”, just have a response in your back pocket in case you need it! Make sense?
Charle
19. Jul, 2010
@Kennedy. Thanks for the input man. I really appreciate it. Ok, here’s another ? I’ll shoot your way: Is it always better to go on the offensive and initiate the conversation first? There have been too many times to count where opportunity is just throwing itself at me, but I hesitate due to a combination of nervousness, doubt, and lack of confidence seem to overwhelm me. And if it is better to start talking first, when is a good time? I’ve observed numerous times where my friend(who is a complete jerk to girls) just happens to cut in at bad times, and somehow gets a reaction of girls, just by being obscure in his attitude.. Please help if you can!
Kennedy
20. Jul, 2010
@ Charle
It’s almost always good to initiate the conversation. It shows confidence and give you a chance to control the flow of the dialogue. Just remember to take a deep breath before you approach a girl, and be ready to throw some open ended questions out there to keep the conversation going!
Charle
22. Jul, 2010
Thank you again Kennedy. Your advice is golden and very vital to helping me conquer my own anxiety when it comes to girls.
Charle
03. Aug, 2010
Ok, here’s another question from me: The girl I’m investing my time and interest in. I do have rare run-ins with her in real life, but would internet communication be out of the question? And if it is ok, when is too much? My biggest fear is scaring her to the point where she ignores all my messages and removes me as a friend from whatever social network site. Please help if you can!
dope z
24. Aug, 2010
i know this girl normally i have no trouble but this girl i cant tell how she feels bout me
Michael
26. Aug, 2010
@ Dope Z
I understand man. There are just some girls that are nearly impossible to read. But many times those situations turnout to be some very rewarding relationships.
Just keep plugging away. Eventually, you’ll find out if she’s interested.
Good luck man!
Louie
27. Aug, 2010
I’d just like to say very good points in this topic, I’d also like to ask what about texting, I mean i know this may sound like a stupid question but some of the girls i know and have known will text me first and then like not text me at all for a while, This other girl will ignore my Texts then just text me some other time, So idk please help
Ava
03. Sep, 2010
Hi. Ithink this is some great advice! If a hot guy were to ask me out right now,followed this advice, I am pretty shure I would say yes! E-mail me at avablair26@yahoo.com!
See ya!