5 Common Mistakes Guys Make When Talking to Girls
Posted on 02. Mar, 2009 by Michael in How to Talk to Girls, Increase Your Confidence
When you go up to a girl you like to start a conversation, you need all the help you can get. Typically there are 5 mistakes that most guys make that can decrease your chances of walking away with her number. They are:
1. Convincing yourself to not talk to her
Most people call this shyness. Don’t let shyness keep you from meeting an awesome girl. One moment of shyness can cost you weeks, months or even years of happiness.
2. Letting your nervousness show
Girls, typically, like guys who are confident. Sweating, stuttering and fidgeting during a conversation doesn’t exactly paint you as a confident guy. Sure, there are some girls who think nervousness can be cute. But by and large, they prefer confidence.
3. Asking for her number too early
One of the worst things you can do is to start the conversation like this, “Hi, I saw you from across the way and thought you were really attractive. Can I get your number?” She doesn’t know you. Why should she give you her number? For all she knows you can be a stalker. That’s why it’s important to have a good conversation with her before you ask her for her number. It gives her the chance to get to know that you’re an OK guy.
4. Coming on too strongly
One of the other worst things you can do is to start the conversation like this, “Hey, my name’s Tom. I saw you in my history class and I think you’re really hot! We should go out on a date. Come on, we’ll have fun!” Girls don’t like to feel like they’re being forced into a conversation, let alone a date.
5. Not knowing when to end the conversation
Even if your first conversation is going amazingly well, you never want to linger too long. Always leave the conversation with the girl wanting more. There’s no need to divulge all your funny stories or secrets right from the get go. How long should you talk with a girl? For a first time conversation a good rule of thumb is to stay under 45 minutes.
What do you guys think? Is there anything I left out? Please share your comments with us…
Shy to Talk, a fan of AdviceOnGirls.com
Birdstheword
08. Dec, 2009
Hi… there’s a girl I’m going out with at the moment that I don’t really like, how do I tell her I just want to be friends without just saying it or hurting her feelings? Tyvm
Supergirl52
11. Dec, 2009
HI! I’m a girl who’s comparing advice websites on guys to advice websites on girls. Just saying that everythings accurate from talking 2 us to mistakes in chatting. Keep up ur confidence guys, cuz this is good working info!
CyurusFamily
05. Jan, 2010
heya im a girl and i was board so i decided to see if this was right and it is guy try urr best to follow this and geeky nerdy ppl we can still like yuu just be normal yuu never know there will be a girl out there who will love everything about yuu
donwallbaby
07. Jan, 2010
i think 45 mins is way to long. 5-10 min is good then if you get her number then you can wprry about more convo.
wes
08. Jan, 2010
Type your comment here…my name i wes im 29 single have been 4 most of my life ive been looking for that special some one but i dont think im met to experience tru love i think im met to be alone u wanna coment on this pls do or u can even call or txt 417 349 0532
Michael
27. Jan, 2010
@ Wes
If you want to meet that special girl, you totally can do it. You just need to get proactive and get out there.
Start by buying a few books about dating. Don’t get any of that garbage about “hooking up” with girls at a club. Go for real relationship books written by experts. Stay away from the trash. One book I recommend is “Always talk to strangers.” You should be able to find it on Amazon.
Next, you should talk with a relationship/dating psychologist. Many psychologists are great at helping people overcome their own fears and doubts. They can even give you great tips about how to interact with people. Don’t be ashamed of seeing one. Many people go to psychologists all the time!
Hope that helps man!
Justin
28. Jan, 2010
This is a good article like the rest.
I’m starting to see a pattern,
And it’s made me come to realize:
Guys don’t have to be jerks to get girls.
They can be GOOD guys,
But treating a girl like a lady doesn’t mean being annoying.
That’s why they say good guys finish last, they don’t understand the supply and demand of attention,
And often smother girls.
Well, please keep giving advice to us.
Thanks guys =D
Ron
03. Feb, 2010
good article i found Just thought it might help someone else in the same way it helped me http://www.ehow.com/how_5917381_good-girl.html
Charle
10. Feb, 2010
@Michael Hey everyone. Got another problem. There’s a union at my college. Tons of hot chicks of all sorts hang out there. There was plenty of opportunity for me today to move in on. Problem is, I always talk myself out of it before I try anything. I don’t like the idea of changing myself to just attract girls. I would wish to be genuine, but this is hard to do. Please offer advice!
Paulinho
05. Mar, 2010
i just wanna know one thing: the name and a way to contact THE BEAUTIFUL ONE girl in the photo !
good article…
Flip
10. Mar, 2010
I just found this website and read through the articles connected to this one.
One more thing- thing of who you are, what you do, etc as your ‘ammunition’. Still can’t think of an opener, or follow on questions? Turn the tables around. Example- I’ve graduated college, I’m in the Army, I’ve been deployed to Iraq, and I’ve got a job. (Ok, so maybe walking up to her and saying “hey, are you an Iraq veteran?” probably isn’t the greatest thing in the world to do). You can always ask things like “so where do you go to school? Where do you work at? Where do you live?”
Those questions are great for me, personally, as I started my job four months ago, and there’s a cute girl that works on the other side of the building. On top of that, I’m moving from where I live now (yup, that’s another good topic..) to closer to my office. I’ve spent the last year taking care of my grandmother and since my family is moving her to Texas, I’m able to move forward with my life again, yadda yadda yadda.
You get my point. Take who you are and what you do (even if you mop the floors at McDonald’s, come up with funny anecdotes about it) and turn those into questions you want to ask her.
Even if you can’t think of ANYTHING to say and are stuck in an elevator with the girl you want to talk to you can say something like “even though we’re only going down two floors, wouldn’t it be nice to have some of that awesome music playing in the overhead speaker right now?” or “I know that phone is used for an emergency, but I’ve always wondered if you could order a pizza from it”
Seriously…there are LIMITLESS possibilities to say to girls (or even just random strangers) in pretty much any situation.
God speed, wayward travelers.