10 ways to get rid of an irritating girlfriend

10 ways to get rid of an irritating girlfriend

Posted on 19. Nov, 2007 by in Relationship Advice

It’s time for advice of a different kind. How do get rid of a girl.

  1. Make her wait for ages… when the dates are planned by her and, even worse when they are planned by you.
  2. Do not ever use a deodorant when you’re around her. Make it a point to munch on onions before you meet her.
  3. Attend as many calls as you can when she’s spending time with you… it helps if the one calling is you’re ex-girlfriend and it’s even better if it’s your ’supposedly’ intimate boyfriend.
  4. Be as GAY as you can!
  5. Make sure you invite her best friend every time you go out with her, and hit on her friend as shamelessly as you can. The drool-pot is a sure winner!
  6. Dress as horrendously as you possible can. Colour combinations are a strict NO-NO, unless you’re planning on doing a fluorescent orange and bright pink combo. Classic!
  7. Gorge yourself on food, hers, yours, her friend’s and make sure food spills out of your mouth every minute or so, during your lunch or dinner dates.
  8. BURP! As often and as loudly as you can. Gaseous emanations of other kinds are also sure ways to your ultimate triumph!
  9. Make sure she realizes you’re not busy, but pretend to be as busy as you can possibly be when she’s around… she’ll get the hint… or even better, pair it up with being a schedule freak.
  10. Pretend you have a serious crotch infection, or a fetish or an obsession for everything down under!

9 Responses to “10 ways to get rid of an irritating girlfriend”

  1. Vanessa G.

    27. Aug, 2008

    HI, just so you know I am a girl.With this advise about getting rid of a girl you could traumatise her for ever wanting a relashionship again. My advise is : Guys just say that you would like to date other people OR say you just do not like her anymore. Forget about all this crap about grossing her out , just say it !!! Think is this the way you would want your GF to treat you. Saying stuff like ” Oh I have crabs we need to breakup… bye” No , its bull who ever wrote “10 ways of getting rid of a girl”

  2. Vanessa G.

    27. Aug, 2008

    HI, just so you know I am a girl.With this advise about getting rid of a girl you could traumatise her for ever wanting a relashionship again. My advise is : Guys just say that you would like to date other people OR say you just do not like her anymore. Forget about all this crap about grossing her out , just say it !!!

  3. kate

    24. Jul, 2009

    its because of guys who act like this, that the nice guys never get a chance to prove how great they are, because guys like this make us hate you all.

  4. Michael

    24. Jul, 2009

    Yes, this post is really meant as a joke.

  5. monster

    20. Oct, 2009

    lol funny ill do it to my girl for a joke (not all) i have to dress nice…ill tell her its a joke after though

  6. Cameron

    27. Feb, 2010

    LOL!!!!!!! this made me laugh!!!!!!!

  7. Cameron

    27. Feb, 2010

    question for you Micheal: I just broke up with my girlfriend a week ago after a 5 month relationship and she was craz about me then to begin with. Now it’s like she completely forgot that I broke up with her and she is still wanting me to text her. Still wanting me to hug her. And today she asked me if ii wanted to walk down to her car with her like i USED TO DO. It’s pretty annoying (btw I broke up with her all-in-all because she was getting super annoying to me). When I try to avoid giving her a hug she’ll stare at me with this sad look till I do -.- Ugh! Any advice? Should I just tell her? If there was some sort of implied way that I could say “Have you forgotten I broke up with you?” without being rude or whatever, please tell me :) Thanks

  8. Taylor

    10. Mar, 2010

    Cameron – Even though you asked Michael this question, I just figure I’ll answer it with a simple question back: What in the world are you doing still seeing/talking/interacting with in any way to your recently ex-girlfriend and letting her annoy you in such a way? You shouldn’t have to feel bad about doing what’s right for you. You should be happy! You won! Have you forgotten you’d dumped her for being annoying in the first place?
    See, now you’re getting the worst end of the relationship stick in the form of a sorry, co-dependent ex. The best repellent for this is to show up next time you see her with a “new girl”. Be all about this “new girl” and she’ll never want to see you again. You have to kill the attraction she sees in you and she’ll go down a different path so she can annoy some other guy all over again, and the attraction still remains because (let me guess) you still hang out exclusively, meaning you hang out with no other friends around. You need to stop that.
    If you can’t find a “new girl” right away, just make sure you have someone else (at least one person) around like a mutual friend (if you HAVE to hang out with her) and that awkward, unreconciled-feeling that she still wants what she can no longer have won’t be so constant and annoying when you hang out with her (for reasons I don’t know, unless you’re playing her into thinking you’ll “cave in” and take her back so you can bang her once more, in which case, I say good to you, sir). Hope that helps.

  9. Cameron

    11. Mar, 2010

    Taylor- I do not by any means try to Hang around her. She’ll see me in the halls and stare at me until i say hey. Today i was talking to a friend of hers (whom I hope to date soon actually) and then my ex came up to us and starts telling me random crap that just made me want to yell “I do not care!!!!” at her. so then that girl bails out (because she thinks she can be annoying too) leaving my ex to ask me the question “Can I take you home?”. Me: ……………………………………….. No. I’ll take the bus. Ex: okay well promise me you’ll text me later! So yeah i think you get the idea of it. I think i’m just going to try and make an even greater effort to not communicate with her. But yeah, I appreciate it though

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