How to get a girl interested in you
Posted on 21. Aug, 2007 by Michael in Dating Tips, Flirting Tips
Many girls want what they can’t have. This is one of the major truth’s when it comes to flirting with girls. Want proof? Think about all the times that you liked a girl, hung on her every word, was there whenever she needed you – and you became her friend, not a boyfriend, just a friend. Now think of that same girl and her boyfriend. Remember how you noticed that he didn’t give her the kind of attention you did? Well, that was probably one of the reasons she was with him. She saw value in his attention because it was rare; well rarer than yours anyway.
The next time you find yourself in that “we’re just friends” situation, remember that girls want what they can’t have. So, you shouldn’t always make yourself available for her. While you’re at it, stop paying so much attention to her too.
Here’s an example:
If she calls, answer the phone but cut her off about a minute into the call and say you’ve got plans and have to go. Don’t give her an explanation. Just say you’ve got to go but you’ll call her later and be nice about it. Oh, by later I mean two days later not two hours later.
By giving her less attention you, you make yourself more appealing. Why? Because your attention is a rarity; it’s supply and demand. Gold is worth so much because it’s rare. The same goes for you and your attention.
Shy to Talk, a fan of AdviceOnGirls.com
Ben
17. Apr, 2010
Okay… I seriously need some professional advice, or at least from someone who knows this kind of stuff.
I am sixteen years of age, in college (Im in the UK). Usually all of my past relationships have started with people ive met through people. But ive been close friends with this girl now for almost a year… I really really like her, every luch time i seem to unconsciously find my self sat next to her, and very close… none of us react, this is normal, i didnt realise untill today but we’re a lot closer (like im her best guy friend kindof) than i thought. Anyhoo we get along perfect, some people think wed make a great couple… anyway… she’s just got out a relationship with a guy who didnt value her (no way as much as i do… i understand this is because his value was so rare and mine wasnt. ect.ect)
i hated this guy. anyway… i told her yeasterday that i like her. She doesn’t feel the same way cause we’re such close friends… (thats how i found out we were that close…i didnt even notice lol)
so we came to an agreement, we’ll spend more time together, (cause we only see each other for like 1 hour at college) so were gonna spend more time together outside of college and get to know each other more personally. This is good as ive told her that if she does develop feeling then we’ll take it slowly… (oh, also, the only reason im asking for advice is… ive rushed into every relationship in my past… have never asked a friend out) she agreed but told me not to get my hopes up and i agreed…
SO!…. any advice to get this girl liking me a little more and more every week just gradually untill she starts to see me the same way… thankyouuu.. please reply asap!
James
18. Apr, 2010
Hey everybody,
I’m kinda in the same situation as Ben above. I really like this girl I’ve known since last year. We’ve gone out about 3 times, and I want to get the relationship a bit more meaningful, but she says she’s not ready for that. I do respect that, but I want to let her know that I go slow in relationships. I don’t want to get trapped in the friend zone, and I definatly don’t want to let this “catch” go like the others (this fish or no fish for me, lol). Any help is appreciated, thanks!
GIrl
25. Apr, 2010
That’s BS- I would know, I’m a .
Edgar
29. Apr, 2010
Hey seriously, what the F—! Does anyone even run this site anymore? There aren’t any new articles, no one answers anything, and people are just flooding this site with questions! I know people are busy and all, but come on, you make a site, now run it!
If not, well I think everyone here should Google something else that’s not as “fancy” and out-dated as this site. This message should be a wake-up call, if not already a delete button happy target… o wait, the admins won’t see this for about, hmm, at least 5 years.
Kennedy
03. May, 2010
@ Ben
Patience man! That’s what it is going to take. You have been in her “friend zone” for quite a while. If you are still hanging out all the time it may be near impossible for you to escape. However, the good news is that she seems to want to get to know you on a more personal level with some hopes that it might lead somewhere. Try easing her into the idea of you two dating. Ask her on a date without asking her on a date. Like asking her out for lunch some time, but not calling it a date. Or if she mentions a movie she wants to see, offer to take her. Get some quality alone time with her without making it seem like it’s an actual date.
Good luck my friend…
Kennedy
03. May, 2010
@ James
Like Ben above, try to have some patience. As previously mentioned, just try to get her out for events where it is just the two of you…
Kennedy
03. May, 2010
@ Edgar
Chill out, my friend. We have lives just like all of you gentlemen that we strive to help. We’re trying our hardest to answer as many questions as possible, but in the meantime, try to keep the vibe around here a positive one.
Tristan
05. May, 2010
I really like this girl I go to church with. Our youth is small, about 30 people. I haven’t really said anything to her. I’ve been going to youth with her for about 5months, and it’s every other week. What do I do to start a conversation with her and to get her to like me? or should I just take it slow and be friends with her and see what happens?
Let me know
Thanks
Tristan
Tristan
05. May, 2010
oh and she is in grade 8 and I am in grade 7 but we are only half a year apart.
Kennedy
12. May, 2010
@ Tristan
You know, I’m gonna let Mike answer this one, as he has been in this situation a few more times than I have. In the meantime, just be sure to read over some of the other advice columns here on the site, so that you are fully prepared when it’s time to talk to her!
Sam
13. May, 2010
Hey there Kennedy how goes it. Well, heres my dilema. I just met this girl last weekend and we were out eating with a group of friends. She was sitting two seats down from me at the head of the table and was looking at me majority of the time. When I’d crack jokes she would laugh an even gave me fake laughs when it wasnt funny sometimes. So afterwards a few of us leave and go to a frozen yogurt shop to eat desert but many people left and she decided to come along with us. At the end of the night we hugged and said goodnight. Now we’re talking on facebook and we’ve been hitting it off all week and now I want to invite her out but kind of as a date to go with our friends again to see robin hood this weekend(YEA!!!). She’s 19 and im 19 nd we’re both starting the same college in the fall so I see this as a plus, but could just as easily become a negative. How should I approach this?
Kennedy
14. May, 2010
@ Sam
Hey man! Sounds like you’ve already laid the groundwork here. Next time you talk to her on Facebook, ask her for her phone number. After you go see Robin Hood as a group, ask her if she would join you for dinner some time soon. Ask her in person or over the phone – no facebook or texting!
You are literally almost there, my friend. Just take that next step and ask her out after your next group date!
William
15. May, 2010
hi, i really like this girl at school, we are in the same maths class but we dont sit near each other. Sometimes she asks me to come over and help her and include me in some conversations but this only about once a week. I want her to get to know me more and visa versa. I have never had a girlfriend before we are both fifteen. Im not very funny and im quite shy. But am a good listener and very caring.
Tristan
15. May, 2010
I know I should have patience, but I see her tomorrow and then I dont see her for two weeks! I have looked at all the columns of the website, but need some advice for in a youth church environment.
Bob
16. May, 2010
@william
Ur saying ur not very funny and ur quite shy. C, this is the first step u have to over come. U need to be more confident in urself. Idk if she likes shy guys, but mostly girls like confident guys. If shes shy 2, then maybe uve got a shot at it, but if shes not, then u shud start boosting ur self esteem. Shy guys can become outgoing, boring guys can become funny, it just doesnt happen in one nite tho. Work at it. Im sure itll work out, and if it doesnt U gotta remeber that there are always other girls out there.
Pieter van Engelen
16. May, 2010
I’ve been on a youthcamp last week. It all started with a datinggame, but now i like the girl who was mine. i’m 19, she’s 20. I think i see her every 3 weeks. we’re both christian. i’m very shy, but she’s too. what should i do or say to her?
William
17. May, 2010
thanks for the advie, but how do i become more confident and funny
Pablo
18. May, 2010
@William, just chill out man, there’s no blueprint for being confident and funny, you need to find your niche.
Anyway, if everybody had the same sense of humour then life would suck.
Plus, if this girl doesn’t find you funny, your prospective relations will be very tedious. Find somebody you can crack jokes with, funny girls are so much hotter.
scott
19. May, 2010
hi, i want to tell a mutual friend that i like this girl but not shure how because it would be a bit wierd just going up to her and saying “i like …” and advice would be greatly apreciated
Tristan
21. May, 2010
Mike, can you give me some advice? I see her again tomorrow, and need some advice of what to do. Look at my past comments to look at my situation.
Kennedy
21. May, 2010
@ Tristan
Sorry Mike hasn’t been able to get to everyone’s comments, but regardless of the situation, the advice can pretty much stay the same. When you see her tomorrow, just ask her something simple before class – ask her if she knows what this week’s lesson is going to be about (even if you already know what it is). After that, ask her if she has any big summer plans, or if her family is going on vacation. That should give you an opening for speaking with her a few minutes before your class starts. Get into the habit of doing that each week before class, and see how you feel about things in a month or so. You can do it, man – just keep it small at first. Good luck!
Kennedy
21. May, 2010
@Pieter van Engelen
Start with what you know you have in common – your youth camp experience and your faith. The next time you talk to her, ask her if she’s been to that camp before, and what her experiences were like. If she hasn’t been to that camp before, ask her about the church she attends back home, and try to make some comparisons to the church you attend – specifically in regards to programs for youth such as yourself. Also, some of the tips in my previous comment to Tristan could work for you here as well. You can do it man!
Kennedy
21. May, 2010
@ scott
Past experience has taught me that nothing beats walking up to this “mutual friend” and asking outright, “Is this girl with anyone right now? Because I am really interested in her”. Usually these people are kind enough to help get your foot in the door one way or another – whether it be a friendly word for you or some advice on how to approach the girl. Just be prepared for the next step once this mutual friend has helped you out!
Tristan
23. May, 2010
Thanks for the advice. I found out she has a boyfriend though.
Her boyfriend looks like a retard, and I think she deserves much much better. No offense to her boyfriend, as I am judging him. She lives in the neighborhood beside us. Should I send her flowers? I have to be sweeter then her boyfriend to get her to break up with him??
Lost
25. May, 2010
Hi all… i’m now having my college life and i would like to futher up my relationship with the girls i like. But, i.m only been talked to her a few times… Futhermore, we are in the same class n we are going to finish the semester soon… Pls reply n help me asap…. thxxxxxx……
Tristan
25. May, 2010
please reply to me asap too, I see her again tomorrow.
John
29. May, 2010
Is it weird to call a girl adorable as a compliment? Even if you two have known eachother for a while
scott
30. May, 2010
hi i got asked to a school formal by a friend she said to go just as friends and i said maybe but i have been wanting to ask this girl that i like but haven’t had the guts. Firstly what do i tell my friend that asked me and secondally how do i asked the girl of my dreams out. We don’t really know each other that well but we have a mutual friend. I would appreciate advice asap please.
Maxx
31. May, 2010
Hey
so there is this girl at school that I like. The problem is that each time I try to talk to her, I am at a loss for words. We are both in 7th grade and I only see her in band class. I have no idea on how she feels about me. What can I do?
Maxx
31. May, 2010
Please answer asap, school ends on Wednesday this week
BOBBY BOBSON
31. May, 2010
@Maxx DUMP HER lol I’m 12 why teh hell I’m here I dunno! KENNEDY YOUR THUMBNAIL PICTURE IS AWESOME!!! It is funny ‘n cool.
Maxx
31. May, 2010
@BOBBY BOBSON. She was never my girlfriend . I specified that.
scott
01. Jun, 2010
please can someone reply to all these comments it has been quite a while to be honest though i really dont think i have a chance with this girl
Lost
02. Jun, 2010
OMG… hw come there is no respone from Kennedy… or maybe is same as what Edgar said there is no one running on this website…
Paul (Not real name, Sorry!)
03. Jun, 2010
Well, Theres this girl I’ve known for years…I’m 16, shes 15, We have the oocasional chat but not much, Shes the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, Great body, And AMAZING eyes… I hang on every word she says…Life feels meaningless without her. I think about her all day, Every day… I dont see her at school, Because shes a daughter of my mother’s friend. I only see her at parties and Sometimes on holidays… I get the odd Glance from her, But I think thats just because shes looking to see if Im looking at her. She seems really nice and bubbly and gets on with everyone except for me, She seems to avoid me… Im not to ovsessive over her. And shes got a boyfriend at the moment, But I dont see wh we cant be friends and take it from there….
How can I start conversations with her?
How can I get her to Like me?
How can I get over her if she doesnt like me taht way; Maybe if she HATES me?:(
zach
04. Jun, 2010
hi, i like this girl at school we are both 15 im not sure if she likes me as well. She laghs at stuff i say and i sit next to her in class and when her leg touches mine she doesn’t seem to move it. But my main problem is that she is one of my friends (who is a guy) twin sister which would make it really awkard if we did end up going out. So firstly i have never had a girlfriend before and would like some flirting tips and secondally what do you think about the whole twin sister thing.
samuel theres this girl in my class and i really like her but im not sure if she likes me back. also, she is nearly always with her friends and one of my friends used to like her aswell, but he has acually helped me out quite a bit. we know each other rea
04. Jun, 2010
sorry about that!
samuel
04. Jun, 2010
sorry about my last post!
anyway, as i was saying we know each other really well and talk alot but i can never find her alone and have enough courage to tell her i like her. any tips welcome.(but i really need confidence tips)
thanx
George
04. Jun, 2010
im 19 and this girl i like is 17, we were in the same class when i was a senior in high school and we hit it off really well we got to the point where i thought we would start dating but i never took the chance, now im graduated and in the military but i still think about her and i wanna reconnect, thing is she is 1000 miles away and my only way of communication with her is facebook(i know everybody in her family’s number besides hers ‘figures’), plus i think i might be in bad standings with her father due to my brother’s fourwheeler accident with her sister. plz offer me some advice thanks
samuel
05. Jun, 2010
kennedy, micheal, im not trying to be rude, but everyone needs some help here!
unknown
16. Jul, 2010
i think we should answer our questions.
we should help each other.
there is no fuc- – - – person on this site to help us.
lets help each other with our experiences.
Kennedy
16. Jul, 2010
@ unknown
Hold your horses there, cowboy. We certainly encourage everyone here to offer support and advice, but do know that we’re working hard behind the scenes to be as helpful as possible.
If anyone has asked a question in the last month or so that has not been answered, please feel free to post again so Mike or myself can check it out.
Keep the great questions coming!
sam
18. Jul, 2010
hi i really like this girl in my class i sit next to her in two of my classes. I think she likes me but im not sure cause she laughs at my jokes and when her leg touches mine she doesnt move it away. There is one big problem though she is one of my friends’ twin sister so it would be awkard around him and everything. Can i please have your advice on the whole situation please
Kennedy
18. Jul, 2010
@ sam
Sounds like things are going well! Try to get a little deeper with this girl before involving your friend. See if she is interested in hanging out some time, or even something simple like chatting on Facebook. If she seems interested in you, then talk to your friend and let him know how you feel. A true friend would give you the thumbs up in this situation.
The point is, worry about the girl first, and if you feel confident about taking things to the next step, then talk to your friend…
Charle
18. Jul, 2010
Hello again. Ok my big question is this: Should I keep my time invested on a girl I started liking last semester(and we preemptively became “friends” at the least) or should I move on, burn my bridges, and find someone new to meet?
sam
19. Jul, 2010
hi i like this girl at school i sit next to her in two of my classes and im not sure if she likes me but she laughs at my jokes and when her foot touches mine she doesnt move it. There is on big problem though is one if my friends twin sister so it would be awkard around him if we went out. What do u think about the situation can u help.
Kennedy
19. Jul, 2010
@ sam
Dude! See my response below. Let me know if you have any other questions.
Kennedy
19. Jul, 2010
@ Charle
Check out my response to your question in the 5 common mistakes article elsewhere on the site.
Moses
03. Aug, 2010
@ kennedy why do you like to interfere into peoples privacy huh? fro the way you talk i can bet you dont have a girl friend all to your self….
Shaink
15. Aug, 2010
by the way.. I just wanted to thank this community. This is where i started my research on the opposite sex about 2 years ago, and i think now im pretty well off.
Thank you Michael.
and good job, keep it up!