How to get a girl interested in you

How to get a girl interested in you

Posted on 21. Aug, 2007 by Michael in Dating Tips, Flirting Tips

Many girls want what they can’t have. This is one of the major truth’s when it comes to flirting with girls. Want proof? Think about all the times that you liked a girl, hung on her every word, was there whenever she needed you – and you became her friend, not a boyfriend, just a friend. Now think of that same girl and her boyfriend. Remember how you noticed that he didn’t give her the kind of attention you did? Well, that was probably one of the reasons she was with him. She saw value in his attention because it was rare; well rarer than yours anyway.

The next time you find yourself in that “we’re just friends” situation, remember that girls want what they can’t have. So, you shouldn’t always make yourself available for her. While you’re at it, stop paying so much attention to her too.

Here’s an example:
If she calls, answer the phone but cut her off about a minute into the call and say you’ve got plans and have to go. Don’t give her an explanation. Just say you’ve got to go but you’ll call her later and be nice about it. Oh, by later I mean two days later not two hours later.

By giving her less attention you, you make yourself more appealing. Why? Because your attention is a rarity; it’s supply and demand. Gold is worth so much because it’s rare. The same goes for you and your attention.

243 Responses to “How to get a girl interested in you”

  1. jacob

    11. Dec, 2009

    she in elimentary and i think in 5th or 6th grade

  2. jacob

    11. Dec, 2009

    and lol wut up

  3. Morgan

    30. Dec, 2009

    Well i like this girl and i want to ask her to the prom but done know how. And I want her to like me so i can ask her out.

  4. dave

    30. Dec, 2009

    Hi, i have a problem. i need some advice i really like this girl tht i know for a couple years were friends. i had a chance with her last year but i messed up badly. i dont no if she likes me or not and i want her to like me i try flirting but i dont if it does anything also i dont no how to keep the conversation going i need some advice on how to get her interested in me please help

  5. Robert

    04. Jan, 2010

    Hello
    For 2 or 3 months or so, I have been having a “fling” with this girl. Now, in the beginning it all went well. We have had several “dates”, and everytime it has gotten cozy, and we ended up cuddling. Before we met she said to her friend she found me attractive. At a birthdayparty in the near past, we had some drinks, and we ended up making out. After this, our tone was good when chatting online. Upon our next meeting, I sensed that something was different. She told me that she had feelings for me in the beginning, and she thought it would escalate, but it didn’t, and that I was maybe one of the coolest persons she has ever met, and she really wanted us to stay friends, and still meet. Well, here’s the deal. I do not know when I made the wrong turn. I’ve been slightly hard to get, and our conversations are not awkward at all, and I make her laugh a lot. I guess i’ve been put in the infamous “friend zone”, and I would really appreciate if you could give me some advice on how to get out of this pickle.

    Thanks a lot

  6. Mike

    05. Jan, 2010

    @Morgan

    Prom Date 101

    1) Get to know her a little better, Find excuses for short little conversations. 5mins max. (Im assuming you dont know this girl very well?) If you already know her your inn the clear. Try to figure out whether she has a date or not, if you can do that you can do something really romantic that she will not say no to. (flowers or a unique way of asking her to prom ( I asked my prom date over the school announcement system)). but regardless assuming she doesnt already have a date, she will more that likely say yes simply, because any prom date is betteer than no prom date.

    @Robert - Yeah you’re screwed, I have have that happen to me alot… the friend zone is impossible to escape. I have a friend who is exactly the same, I can make her laugh alot, we have similar interests, she tells me everything (as in more then she tells her best girlfriends) but I got friend zoned and basically had to accept the fact that we are only friends and will not be anything more… my advice find another girl

  7. cj

    06. Jan, 2010

    im trying to go wit a girl

  8. SV

    08. Jan, 2010

    what do i do? well i told this girl that i like her now shes avoiding me but at lunch and stuff where we see each other she looks at me. since this happend i gave her less attention like u said i want her to love me but its not gonna happen someone plz help

  9. Austin

    09. Jan, 2010

    All you guys out there listen because im a pro at getting girls whenever i want. Just be your self, dont get nervous around her, if you dont know her but you like her get near her without her noticing but not to close. glimpse at her and when she starts too look turn away and pretend you wernt looking at her make sure she sees you turning your head back around. Once that is done wait one minute to observe the area think of a conversation that sounds like something you would say. Dont waist anymore time walk up to her say hi have that conversation then ask for her phone number but tell her you want the number to stay in touch with her. she wrights the number then walk away. Most of the time if you ignore them your donefor so talk to her every once and a while but dont talk to or hang around her all the time she will find that anoying. When ever you feel its the write time to ask her ask her on the phone when her friends arnt around or she will say no just because shes around her friends. REMEMBER ALLWAYS ACT LIKE AND DRESS LIKE YOURSELF!

  10. Charle

    19. Jan, 2010

    There’s a really hot girl that decided, out of all places, to sit right next to me in my marketing class. The only problem was she was consumed with playing scrabble on her iphone the whole time. How do I overcome this? I hate technology’s stranglehold on society nowadays. It’s just one barrier that is preventing me from talking to her, despite her being very attractive, having an open mind(because marketing is sort of boring) and interesting enough. Please help if you can.

  11. david

    25. Jan, 2010

    i like this girl put i am so shy what should i do

  12. Andrew

    26. Jan, 2010

    I like this girl and she likes me but like sometimes i find that like even when i try to keep the distance to help her like me more, it just doesn’t work out. I end up seeing her everywhere I go and I find that’s not helping my chances. What should I do?

  13. Michael

    02. Feb, 2010

    @ Andrew
    You can always just try talking with her. The playing hard to get game is just one way of getting a girls attention but it’s by no means the best. I have found the best way is to just start friendly conversations. The more you talk with each other, either the more you’ll find you have in common which she’ll find attractive, or you’ll find out that you don’t have anything in common with her. If that’s the case you need to move on and find another girl.
    Good luck!

  14. Michael

    02. Feb, 2010

    @ SV
    I sympathize with you man, I really do. Sometimes girls just flat out aren’t attracted to you or don’t see you “that way.” The best thing for you to do now is to let go of this crush. Move on and find someone else who can appreciate you!

    Good luck man.

  15. SAP92

    02. Feb, 2010

    ok so this girl said she liked me and we talked for a couple weeks. i never made a move on her. a couple days ago she says she lost interest in me. just today we were talking and she said she wanted me again. then she texts me saying i dont wanna be with you i just want to be friends. she led me on so hard today and at the last moment told me she was joking.

    what im asking is how can you just stop liking somebody and why would she joke like that? is there anything i could do or say to make her jealous or want to talk again?

  16. TP

    07. Feb, 2010

    Hey… i need some advice, i like this girl, in fact im inlove with her. and i know she feels the same about me because her friends always tell me how she talks about me at school every single day … but im very good friends with her cousin who doesn’t appreciate guys dating her…. how do i fix a relationship with her, without losing his friendship ( He is in my class at school)

  17. Cristian

    07. Feb, 2010

    Okay…. so heres my dilemma: theres this girl i’ve liked for two years now right. and well our relationships kinda of wierd. its heavily based on texting because me and her go to different schools and dont really hang out with the same friends. but anyways about two years ago i saw her on facebook and was like wow she is pretty. so about a week later i had asked her friend for her number just playing around and she actually gave it to me and told me to text her. so w.e it was kind of awkward cuz we didnt know each other w.e. but like my intention by talking to her have always been to be something more than friends. so a years passes and we would text a month here and there w.e. real “friend like” uk. And then finally this year i finally asked this girls friend who i ad gotten the number from, who is a really good friend of mine, to ask “my girl” if she would ever consider us more than friends. My friend did and at first “my girl” was skeptical and said no. but then ig my friend convinced her. and i think part of “my girls” skepticism was because she had a bf which had just cheated with her about 6 months ago. but finally she said w.e yeah ill give it a try. so now we were talking and were on the same page as far as what our intentions were. and for about a month or two i would ask her to hangout or w.e and she would agree to these plans or say she would let me know but never came through. or she would invite me to do somethings and then never fall through on her end. so ik i made the mistake of making myselft too open to her. but i just really liked her. so finally i couldnt stand her shadiness and i finally told her how i felt. I gave her a long text telling her how i liked her and she should have gave it a shot. she then replied with “oh ik i was just afriad if it didnt work out that we would no longer be friends. and like thats the last thing i want to do is loose you as a friend” and for about two weeks straight i recieved pity text from her. so like ever since then. like mid octoberish me and her have continued to talk but like i no longer know what her intentions are. like ever since that day when i told her how i felt and she told me i no longer think we’re on the same page uk. although i have made jokes here and there to her about how we never get to hangout because she is “shady”. For example she went to go see the new twilight this past weekend and i asked her how it was w.e and then we gotta to speaking about my opinion on the movie and i told her “i’m a guy what would i look like going to that” she then replied with “u’d be surprised there were a lot of guys… but they did get dragged by the gf” and then i replied back by saying “well if someone wasn’t always soo busy doing other things i wouldnt mind being dragged to see it either” she then said “ahaha yeah something always came up with soccer or family. but now soccer is over so i have more time:)…” and like ig we kind of openly talk about it now but like i have noo idea if she is still in it for the same reasons as me. and like i really like her and i just want her to like me back! Ahhh help please! lol
    and btw ik i wrote and essay haha

  18. Kennedy

    08. Feb, 2010

    @ TP

    That can be a tough spot sometimes. If you two truly are friends, I would recommend talking to her cousin, let him know that you wanted to talk to him first because he is a friend, and assure him that you mean nothing but the best for his cousin.
    If he still isn’t going for it, then you may have the girl have a talk with him about it to soothe him over. In the end, I wouldn’t let him get in between you and the girl that you like, but I know he would appreciate you talking to him face to face like a man to try and settle any differences you might end up having. Good luck!

  19. Aaron

    15. Feb, 2010

    Hey,
    Ok i have a problem well 2:
    1) I’m mixed about two girls… one flirts with me the other dosent but i like them both eaqually… however the flirting one just got out of a realationshi[ because her bf cheated on her. I was right beside her and all supporting her, when she found out i liked her she said she wasnt aloud to date untill Year 10. I pointed out she just got out of a relationship and she said that her parents didn’t know about them and had found out.
    2) Does it really count on looks theese days to get a girl? If so im screwed…

    Cant i get some help please?

  20. Aaron

    15. Feb, 2010

    Oh just remembered to ask… what happens when i go for my first kiss? I have no clue how to kiss so yer i havent really been kissing any1 because i think ill screw it?
    And
    Dancing too no clue… so if i ask a girl out to a dancing place what do i do?

  21. Cameron

    16. Feb, 2010

    I am a guy and I’m 15 years old and I have a girlfriend who is 17 years old (irrelevant). Recently me and my girlfriend’s friend Jane (we’ll call her) have grown an attration to each other even though i have a girlfriend whom I love and she has a boyfriend who she loves(neither my girlfriend nor Jane’s boyfriend know anything about this). We like each other and talk to each other and kind of flirt even though we shouldn’t (and I do feel bad about it) but we can’t help that we like each other. It’s hard for both of us because we can’t be together now… possibly ever because even if sometime in the future Jane and I do become single and want to date each other, that would make my girlfriend feel absolutely terrible since they are such good friends. I don’t know quite what to do. It is hurting me and Jane not being together, but we can’t be together basically. If you have some advice for me on mine and Jane’s situation it would be greatly appreciated.

  22. David

    16. Feb, 2010

    Great advice. I never thought of it that way. Im going to try this and test it out lol.

  23. Kennedy

    21. Feb, 2010

    @ Aaron

    I’m not really familiar with “Year 10″. Could you explain for myself, Michael and the other AoG readers? That would be an interesting fact to learn!
    Anyway, it sounds like things with that girl are going to be complicated. Tread lightly. And as for your other question, it isn’t always about looks. The best girls appreciate you for who you are as a person. Those are the ones you want to hold on to. They take a little longer to find normally, but it’s totally worth the wait. You will find yourself a girl that appreciates everything you can offer, trust me man.

  24. Kennedy

    21. Feb, 2010

    @ Aaron (again)

    Sorry, didn’t catch the second part of your question there. A kiss is easy. Pucker your lips and kiss her on hers. That’s always the best start, and it’s almost impossible to mess up. You’ll get better with that over time, trust me. :)
    And dancing isn’t too bad to figure out. It’s all about rhythm. Check out YouTube for some easy lessons that you can go along with to add a little rhythm to your moves….

  25. Kennedy

    21. Feb, 2010

    @ Cameron

    Tough decision there, mate. If you do decide that you and Jane would be better off dating, then the first thing you need to do is end it with your gf and let her know what’s up. Otherwise you are just asking for all sorts of trouble from several different angles.
    However, if you’re committed to your current gf, I would recommend that you back off a little from Jane before you do something that you both will regret and could potentially end up ruining relationships AND friendships. And of course you’d have a ticked off boyfriend looking for you as well. That’s never good.

  26. Boko_The_Chocobo

    23. Feb, 2010

    Hey guys,
    There’s this girl in school who I’ve been with for a couple months. We’ve went out about 2 times (and getting her out is hard, she’s ALWAYS busy) and I want to move the relationship up higher. I don’t know if I can consider her my girlfriend or not. I’ve told her how I felt about her (we went on on Valentines) and she told me I am a really nice guy and that she likes me but to lets develop our good feelings for each other step by step to a future (WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?!). What should be my next step?
    Thanks for any help
    -Boko the Chocobo

  27. Jake

    24. Feb, 2010

    Ok so there is this girl at my school. I like her a lot and she is very attractive. I see her staring at me a lot along with some other girls, but I don’t make eye contact or smile at them becuz I’m too shy and think they will talk about me. I want to talk to her but I think her friend has told her some stuff about me that has lowered her opinion of me but I can’t tell (girls are way too complicated). . Any advice on how I could approach her or talk to her and start a conversation to get to know her. And I’m a year younger than her so I have no classes with her, but lunch.
    Thanks in advance

  28. Zack

    24. Feb, 2010

    Jake dont worry about what that girl did or did not tell her just go up and start a conversation with her, for me i would prefer alone idk bout u but wait too long and you might miss your chance and regret it

  29. Jared

    24. Feb, 2010

    there is a girl at my school who i am really starting to like, i think she likes me too because whenever i cant go somewhere she is always really disappointed, and we text a lot! although i like her i still have mixed feelings if she likes me/ we have ROTC together and i always talk to her after school but i am really bad at this kinda stuff (approaching girls and reading signs lol) so what should i do

  30. Cameron

    25. Feb, 2010

    The way I have found best and easiest to start conversations with girls is through electronic means like Myspace, Facebook, and texting of course (If you don’t already have her # than just start talking to her on Myspace and eventually be like “I’ve gotta get off the computer. Can I have your number so I can text you?” and things should flow from there. But if she seems to get annoyed talking with you, you might want to to get rid of some corney jokes or whatevre you feel is annoing her lol. But if she continues on like that don’t push too much. Good luck buddie! :)

  31. Cameron

    25. Feb, 2010

    The above comment is for JAKE

  32. Raynes

    26. Feb, 2010

    So, I’m pretty good with the talking to girls thing. But when I get to know a girl I like, we always seem to head right for the friend-zone. Sure I got the message,don’t make yourself available to her. I learnt that one the hard way…

    But, does what your conversation entail matter ? Should they bend towards a certain direction that would inspire attraction ? Please help !? U guys r really doing great on this site by the way…

  33. Kennedy

    28. Feb, 2010

    @ Boko the Chocobo

    Patience my young friend - good things come to those who wait! It sounds like she’s wanting to see how things go with you before she takes it to the next step. If you are truly interested in this girl, I say give it a leap of faith and stick it out to see how it goes. Hang in there man!

  34. Kennedy

    28. Feb, 2010

    @ Jake

    Don’t let the other girls bother you here in this situation. If you are interested in this girl, you are going to have to overcome that shyness and show her that YOU are the guy she should be talking to! Let’s go a little homework here. For the next week, I want you to come up with three different things you could possibly talk to her about. Anything - school, lunch food, whatever. Once you have those three head back in here and post what you have and we’ll go over your next step then.
    I know you can do it - now get to it!

  35. Kennedy

    28. Feb, 2010

    @ Jared

    You’re already there man!
    Plan for an afternoon or a weekend where you know you can get to see her, and ask her out! Keep it simple if you’re nervous - Starbucks, the mall or something like that. It sounds like she will totally go for it!
    Just take a deep breath and go for it!

  36. Kennedy

    28. Feb, 2010

    @ Raynes

    It’s all about confidence. Showing her what you want on the front end. Choosing more romantic date places, going in for a kiss, showing affection - those types of things can really set the tone early, and let her know where your intentions lie…

  37. Pbibby

    05. Mar, 2010

    I go to a really small high school. and i mean tiny. we got 110 kids and theres 35 in my class. out of those there are about 18 girls and not any im interested in that arent already taken. going for older or younger girls isnt really an option for me and i dont know very many girls outside of my school . People tell me im one of the “popular kids” and im a great guy and all that jazz and should be able to get any girl and that i’m extremely dateable. It all sounds like bs to me because im a sophomore and havent really been in a relationship before. Confidence is definitely not an issue and my natural personality goes along with those guidelines up above. so what gives? any advice?

  38. Pbibby

    05. Mar, 2010

    correction haha i have never really played the hard to get card before. no one has really ever been there to tell me how to get a girl interested so that has never been apart of my game plan. but its not like theres anyone to try it on anyways because of my school size. and im not tryin to make excuses either, its not like i sit at home and shut myself off from the world, i play 2 different sports and do youth group so idk im confused.

    and another thing. if the majority of my friends are women is that a problem? im friends with a couple guys but most of the ones in my school are complete douchebags who are so narrow sighted and disrespectful

  39. Ms

    07. Mar, 2010

    Hey i need advice, i dated this girl named emily for lik 3 months but the thing is that she lives far away and i cant see her. I want to be with her cuz i like her but i want another girl to be here with meh. ANd therez this really cool girl at skool that im intrested in..idk what to do??

  40. Kennedy

    09. Mar, 2010

    @ Pbibby

    I didn’t have my first girlfriend until well into my Junior year of high school. And being from a small town, I know what your situation is like. If you’re playing sports and stuff like that, then you should get some exposure to girls from other schools and the like. Try to keep your eyes open in that regard.
    Other than that, just have patience my friend. Be as friendly as you can stand around others, and when that one girl finally comes along everyone will have great things to say about you.

  41. Kennedy

    09. Mar, 2010

    @ Ms
    Lose the long distance girl if you think you’d rather have someone else closer to you. It’s not going to work otherwise. Trust me on that one.

  42. Cameron

    09. Mar, 2010

    Any advice on how to get the girl you really like and care about to break up with her boyfriend?……………….. :( btw : she also likes me. but she just won’t end it with her freaking boyfriend!

  43. Kennedy

    15. Mar, 2010

    @ Cameron

    Just have patience, my friend. You can’t be the one that forces them to break up. If you do, you end up looking like a jerk. Just hang in there man. Be ready to pounce once you know the relationship is over.

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